Check Me Out

Patience really pays off.  The ups and downs of trying to get healthy can be frustrating, but if you can hang in there, it becomes really facinating to see the results start happening.    The other night I noticed a bulge in my forearm.   Hypochondriac that I am, I thrust my arm under my husband's face and said, "Eric, I think I have a tumor!"   He said, "Hold out your other arm."  Sure enough, there was an identical one on it.  "Jenn, do you really think you have two identical tumors? They're muscles." Oh, duh.

The other night I was stretching my arms and noticed the firmness that has come from all the band exercises and curl presses I've been doing. So of course I've been making everyone feel them.  Excuse me if I'm annoying.  : )  It's just such a wonder to me to watch my body come back into shape and beyond.    It's almost like when you're watching a child develop and start walking for the first time.   I'm like, "look, there's my collar bone!"    "Look at my muscles."  It's really cool to me and very motivating.

Marisa and I were taking Ellen's fun back to basics aerobics class at Wilmington Lady Fitness.  I love it there, it's so girly and warm.   So at the end of the class we were on the floor on our backs stretching our legs over our extended knees; I looked over at Marisa beside me and said, "Check me out!" Flexibility is coming back!   Seriously though, if you're a local lady, you should check that gym out...go see Jane.  It's a great spot to sweat!   Thanks ladies!

A green work out...

Jeff, "Come on up here on the treadmill, I'm going to show you something cool."

Jenn, "Um, your definition of cool and my definition of cool are TOTTTTALLLLY different."

Jeff, "So get up there and what you're going to do is walk on the treadmill without turning it on."

Sounds simple and easy right?   Ha ha. You have to move the belt with your body power only.    Still sound easy?  Try it.  Try doing sprints like that in interval sets.   I thought I saw Jesus at one point.  I certainly was calling out to Him!    

Jeff, "This is a green workout since we're not using any electricity."

Jenn, "Just let me die for a couple of seconds, then I'll go again."

Godzilla!!!!

One of our jack russells goes absolutely crazy if you say "Godzilla!".   Strange phenomenon but true.   I was walking like Godzilla when I left work yesterday due to step class.    My legs were all stiff and non-bendy and I probably looked like a combination of Godzilla and Frankenstein as I made my way out to the parking deck to go home last night.  I never in my life thought I'd take a step class, but this was my fourth week in a row and yesterday I really felt easier moving around - not that there was anything easy about that class for sure! It's probably the most challenging of all my workouts but the best thing in the world if you want some good cardio that tones your legs.     What also is wonderful is the support of those sweating it out around me like Krysta, Tiffany, Remy, Danielle and Marianne.  Everyone looks out for each other and whoever gets there first puts out the steps and risers for the others in our usual spots.  It's little things like that that make the major accomplishments happen.  I've even moved past that initial self consciousness that I think holds a lot of folks back from attending group classes. If that is what is holding you back, keep in mind that more than likely no one's looking at you anyway, they're all trying to keep the sweat out of their eyes and worried about what they themselves look like.    And even though you may end up with some sore muscles and walking around like Godzilla laying waste to Tokyo, it will be worth it!

Woo Hoo!

Woo Hoo!!!!....didn't gain but managed to lose 1.2 pounds over the holiday!  Hey - I'll take it.   I fully expected to be up!  I made the walk of shame to the scale with fear in the pit of my stomach, and what would you know, the number had gone down!!!!   Then having made the mistake of telling Jeff that I hadn't worked out in three days (add it to the list of things not tell your trainer , why do I always have to tell stuff?) he proceeded to kick my butt up and down the gym.  It was just what I needed and although I was sore 5 minutes after dressing back into my work clothes, it feels good!

Ahhh, how nice it is to be back in the safety of my routine.    I've always been an out of the box, right brained,  creative type, but with this I have found myself getting into soldier mentality.  Tell me what to do, where to be, what to eat, and what time to do all that, and I'll do it.  Call me Rain Man - "Wapner's on at 5" - but I have found safety in the routine and am glad the holidays are over and I can get back to business. I feel good in saying that because I feel that I've proved to myself now that I can keep myself in check during the most off-routine, challenging time of the year. And now - Wapner's on at 5, step is at 12, zumba is at 9:00, Jeff is at three....

Get Back Up

Ugh...I haven't exercised in 3 days and I am in serious fear of the scale today.  The theme music from "Halloween" will probably be playing in my head when I walk towards it today.  That scale is coming for me like Michael Meyers in his lime green station wagon came after generations of teenage babysitters.   Oh well.  What is there to do but put Christmas behind me and get back at it?  I'm finding a lot inspiration in music these days so here are some lyrics from T.I.'s song "Get Back Up" for inspiration: 

"Never mind my imperfections this is fact, remember that
No mistakes too great to recover and bounce back...

My road to redemption has no GPS
So I guess the time must be invested for this to be manifested"

Surviving Christmas and Cabin Fever

Well I have survived Christmas!  I don't know what the scale will show but I feel good about how I ate.  It may have been a little more than usual, but I didn't go crazy and I avoided all the desserts and goodies.    Then came the snow....6 inches the day after Christmas.   I have complete cabin fever and am ready to get back to the safety of my routine.  Being homebound is not good for someone like me who likes to be able to get out and go places when she wants to....and it is way too tempting to snack! But this too shall pass and I have brand new toys to enjoy in the gym:  a super cute new gym bag and a new pink IPod.  Hopefully all will thaw tomorrow and I can get back at it, Lord knows I need to!

Us, the normal shot

Us, showing our true colors.  :)

Battle Plan

I love Christmas but I've been dreading it this year, not because of the extra hustle and bustle or money spent on presents, but for the fear of falling off of the wagon so to speak.  I love having time off but was fearful of leaving the safety of my daily work out routine - being "off the ranch" so to speak if you're a fan of "The Biggest Loser".  Yesterday I had opted to take my floating holiday but came into work to take Step class and was glad I did.

Last night I was awake for some reason and didn't fall alseep until 1:30.   Too soon came the annoying honk of my alarm clock as well as my husband and two Jack Russell terriers to get me out of bed (I'd told him to wake me up in time for Zumba at 8:30).  I really really didn't want to go.  It was cold outside and I was so tired.  But to Zumba I went...my only motivater being the fear of falling off of the wagon and starting that dreaded downward spiral.  I was glad I did it and also glad my local gym will be open tomorrow.  

I guess the lesson in all of it is if you're fearful of situations such as holiday food or not having your normal gym routine is to get a battle plan in place and stick to it.  I really feel that if I can get through this first Christmas on my new wellness plan, I can handle myself in any situtation.   So here goes!  I hope Santa brings me a new gym bag.  I think this year I might be on his "good" list.  : )

Hershey Bar Cake For Goodness Sakes

Christmas is getting close y'all!  When it comes to eating, should you be naughty or nice or somewhere in between?  This weekend we traveled to Sanford, NC to have Christmas with my Benton side of the family.   It was such a wonderful time.  Aunt Kathy is the hostess with the mostest and the food, decorations and homey fireplace created the perfect atmosphere.  She even somehow arranged for it to snow!  The house was bursting with our wonderful family and I looked around at everyone and marveled at how blessed I am!   It was such a rush to see those I haven't seen since September and have them tell me that they can tell that I've lost weight.   That is the best thing in the world to hear and really helped me avoid being naughty. I tasted the appetizers but didn't gorge.   I had a little taste of the casseroles but ate mostly meat and veggies and avoided the biscuits all together.  I skipped dessert - no small sacrifice.  We're talking about Aunt Kathy's Hershey Bar Cake for goodness sakes! 

It is wonderful to be surrounded by those that you love and look around at every face and know that they all have your back and want you to succeed.   You can do anything with love like that backing you up!   This Christmas when you're with your family, step outside of yourself for a moment and look around.   I'm sure that you'll find folks that will do the same for you.  With that kind of support, anything is possible.  Trust me...three months ago I NEVER would have avoided that Hershey Bar Cake.

The Spread

The appetizer and dessert table

Juicy Steak

I never really crave red meat but today at lunch I was all of a sudden craving a juicy steak.   I must have needed it and I can see why.  There's not one muscle on my body that hasn't been worked, ripped, stretched or pulsed this week.  Monday Marisa worked Remy and I. Tuesday Jeff murdered my arms. Wednesday Marisa's step class murdered my legs and abs.  Thursday I was back with Jeff punching and pulling and lifting (aka: how to turn your arms into spaghetti).  Friday brought with it a stability ball workout with the Mighty M's (Marisa, Martha and Milly - and Minter) where the abs were again burning and now add in the behind too, and then another cardio workout with Julie.   Whew.    I am sore all over but in a weird way I feel tight and strong.  6 months ago I never would have thought that I was capable of this.  It just goes to show what is possible if you break past the fear and the excuses.  It feels good.

Christmas Past/Christmas Pass

Guess I'm lucky,
Some of us don't get a second chance.
But I aint blowing this one.
Naw man, haha,
....I feel like I can do anything now  ~ Eminem, "Cinderella Man"

Another day closer to Christmas and another challenge lurking around the corner in the form of holiday food.   But you know what, I've got this! Nothing to me tastes as good as it feels to be healthier. And to finally watch "The Biggest Loser" finale and know that I am on the path to having that kind of success.  And to have so much energy that sometimes I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin.  And to avoid the annual holiday bronchitis through exercising and vitamins.   No Christmas free-for-all indulgence pass for me this year, I've spent too many days of my life giving myself a Christmas pass, too many days on a hedonistic path to destruction. So, no more of that!   One of the contestants on "The Biggest Loser", one who happened to be one of the first ones to leave, said something so simple but yet so powerful: "Stop making excuses and change your life!"    Couldn't say it better than that. 

The Reverse Grinch

Things these days are in their usual holiday frenzy!   Since my last post I have taken a limo ride to my company Christmas party this weekend, chipped further away at my fears by doing the stairs with Remy, finnnnnalllly managed to complete my tree decorations, and lost 3.6 more pounds!!!!    At first when I was a little bummed that I didn't lose 7 more like last week, Marisa broke the math down to me.  A 3500 calorie deficit equals one pound burned.   So in this past week I managed to create a 12,600 calorie deficit through diet and exercise.   Not so small of a feat when you think about it.   

Especially considering all of the temptations of this time of year.    Just yesterday at work, first thing in the morning, someone had left some Little Debbie Christmas Tree cakes in the breakroom (my favorite), later on in the morning it was bon bons, then there was the departmental covered dish, leftovers from that, and then someone offered me the same plate of cookies 5 times.  Whew.  I narrowly avoided them all, the reverse Grinches included.    See the Grinch came to steal the rare Who roasted beast and the last can of Who Hash.   The Reverse Grinch wants you to eat all of their holiday cooking, because that's how they show their love and appreciation.  Both Grinches can be equally as dangerous, so look out!    I think I may start telling people that I'm allergic to chocolate.  Maybe that will be a nice way to turn down the Reverse Grinch.  Sometimes they can be mighty persistent!

Ode to Biscuits and Gravy

At work I sit near our floor's break room which is good in that I'm close to the coffee machine and bad in that our section is always smelling what is microwaving away at lunch time.    Today it was cold outside and all I wanted was some comfort food.  I sat at my desk getting hungrier and hungrier but I wanted to finish the task I was working on before I stopped and went to fix my salad.   All of a sudden the delicious aroma of pot roast and gravy came wafting down the aisle, smelling so good it almost took physical form like in those old Tom and Jerry cartoons.    All that awaited me in the fridge was my cold salad and it was sad.   I haven't really been craving some of the old things I used to eat but at that moment I would have traded my cell phone for some biscuits and gravy (and if you know me you know that had to be a powerful craving).   If Shakespeare was Southern the line from  Richard III would not have been "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!" it would have been "My kingdom for some biscuits and gravy! And while you're at it, throw some collards on there too."  Oh well.  The craving passed and I ate my salad like a good girl.  I will thank myself on Tuesday when it's time to hit the scales.

The Way Back

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for not doing this sooner.  We all have those "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" lurking in our past whether they're big or small.   Motivation is a funny thing. I used to hear all the time "you should do this for yourself."   That is totally true.   But in the beginning, when you have this huge of a task ahead of you, doing it for yourself isn't motivating enough.   The odds are if you have a significant amount of weight to lose or a bad behavior to kick, odds are that you don't think of yourself that often and when you do, odds are that you may not think enough of yourself or be motivated enough to do yourself the favor. So whatever it is, whether it's a spouse or a child or grandchild or parent or friend or your pet or a trip you want to take - use whatever motivation you can find to push yourself forward because I promise that eventually you will be doing it for yourself.   A friend that I was so excited to see in the gym during the time that I go told me that she started back working out this week for her baby son.  She feels that motivation to be a healthy mom and that's what stokes her fires.   For me, I didn't want to back out on my word that I would give this program a shot. That was the only thing that put my feet on the path to the gym the day that I started. That motivation was tangible.  I knew all the other reasons, and they were very important to me, but they weren't tangible.  After that first workout, I cried a little bit because I was proud of myself in a way I hadn't been in a long time and from that moment forward, I started doing this for me.   So whatever it takes, whether it's a dress you want to wear, to lose more weight than someone you've made a bet with, or whether you look over and see that your dog's overweight and you want to do it for him, use it.  You'll find your way back to yourself.

Things I Learned in Step Class

I went to my first ever step class today at work.  This was a big deal for me because I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I am scared of stairs, steps, stairmasters, Escalators (I once spent 30 minutes trying to board one at Belk before giving up and heading for the elevator.  But you have to also understand that my feet were slippery from a pedicure 20 minutes before and that I was absolutely convinced that my flip flops were going to get sucked into the moving parts of the escalator and my leg would be ripped right off) etc.   I also have been know in the past to vehemently state that I would never take a step class.  Well, I've eaten a lot of my words lately (words are calorie free) and without further ado, here is what I learned today:

• The first thing about step class is that I didn't know anything about step class.
• I need to learn my alphabets; there was something called an X step, a V step and a T step and I messed them all up.
• When the instructor says you're going to have fun, that means find a fan because you're about to sweat.
• Jeff is teaching me how to hit and now Marisa is teaching me how to kick.    Watch out y'all!
• It's the best workout for your legs!
• Whatever exercise you are doing, whether it is one on one training or any group class - squats are involved. 
• I'm adding it into my weekly workout routine because it was a major calorie burn!
• I have awesome friends including my trainer, my boss and my Remy who supported me the whole way through the class. 

12 weeks later....

Whoo hoo the Thanksgiving curse has lifted! Last week when I weighed I was up two pounds from Thanksgiving even though I didn't think I had done bad at all.    It's a roller coaster ride for sure! So as a result I put my head down and really scrutinized my calories, drank more water, and pushed myself harder in the gym.  The result: 7 pounds lost in a week!     And as further motivation, here is my pic at the beginning of this journey next to a current pic:

Me after Week One: Just Beginning

Me today: Week 12

Eat Like A Bear

This weekend Eric and I met a guy who lives near us who rescues bears.   There were two Asian moon bear twin brothers and a grizzly brother and sister.    We got there just in time to watch them eat their dinner.    It was wild to see them sit at a picnic table like humans and eat their tomatoes, cucumbers, honeydews and bell peppers.    I guess if we ate like bears, we'd be okay!

 

Footnote: actually, don't eat like a bear, they stay big because they eat massive amounts of food all day long, so that goes to show you that too much of a good thing is not good, even when it comes to fruits & veggies!

Inspiration

“So David triumphed over the Philistine with a sling and a stone; without a sword in his hand he struck down the Philistine and killed him”
(1 Samuel 17:50, NIV)

Maybe the reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July 

- Katy Perry

Challenge: Comfort Food

I love the beach and love living here by the coast, especially in the summer, but I must admit that I LOVE fall.   I especially love cozy movie nights at home with my husband and our jack russells.  Last night it got cold enough so that when I got home Eric had the first fire of the season going in the fireplace and the house was so warm and snuggly.  The only downside, fall weather and cozy nights in of course bring with them a food association.  (Doesn't everything?) It's not summer fresh produce season anymore, the bulky, forgiving sweaters have come out of the closet, and you want to tuck in at night with big plate of chicken and pastry, steak and mashed potatoes, shepard's pie, noodles with spaghetti sauce, that "stick to your ribs" food that this time of year is associated with.   It sticks other places too is the problem.   So as I drove home - I had worked late and had several errands to contend with before heading home - I already knew I wasn't cooking.    My mind wandered to all the lovely comfort food I could imagine.  Here also is the other challenge: I needed the Holy Grail of food, something easy, quick, cheap and nutritious - and something that appealed to my comfort food craving.   

That's when I remembered a friend talking about Wendy's chili.   And there was a Wendy's on my way home.   Friends, if you are in a pinch, go for the chili.  I got a large cup and it was 330 calories and delish!  What's more is that it filled my craving, 2 cups (one for me and one for my husband) were just a little over 4 dollars (not bad, dinner under 5 dollars), was satisfying, and filling since it had all those fiber-filled kidney beans.  So, Comfort Food Night can still be enjoyable!  Especially if you're the jack russell in the chair nearest the fire place:

The Movement

My awesome cousin Amy was here from Seattle over the Thanksgiving weekend.   I love being around her...we can just look at each other and burst out laughing.    She gave me the biggest compliment by saying that I had inspired her to start up her own fitness plan when she got home.  We promised each other that the next time we saw each other, we'd look a lot different.   She said we should call it the "Do the D*&n Thing Movement."  I love it!  So, we're starting the movement.  What it's all about is throwing out any and all excuses that are holding you back from your goal, up to and including the following:  

• I don't have access to a gym. 
• I need new shoes, workout clothes, MP3 player, water bottle, etc
• I don't have time.
• My back hurts.
• I'm embarrassed, people are looking at me, in the class, gym, etc.
• I'm too old.
• I'm too young.
• It costs too much to eat healthy.
• I have too much to lose, I won't ever get there.
• I'll do it after the holidays.
• I don't know where to begin.

 I promise that I've made most of the excuses above a thousand times, but what I've learned is that if you really really want to do something, you won't let anything stop you.  So if you want to, come on and join the Movement! I promise you won't regret it! The only thing that once held me back was myself.  Once I got her out of the way, the world was a new place and everything I've done so far has been worth it.  

Thanksgiving

Dear Old Me,


Today I conquered you.   Today I am thankful that my Thanksgiving plate consisted of lean turkey and veggies and only one spoonful of dressing.  Today I resisted the pecan pie and filled a dessert plate with carrots and celery.  Today I pushed away from the table and instead of getting seconds, I went outside and enjoyed the company of my family.   Today I didn't fall into the food coma, but stood in a circle of prayer with my family and when it was my turn to say what I was thankful for, I said "taking my life back."   Today I didn't give myself a holiday out.  Today I avoided the leftovers and played Barbie with my neice,  listening to her sweet baby voice telling stories of all the ladybugs she captures and names Berlayne.  Today I watched my husband patiently teach our nephew to shoot a BB gun and felt hope that one day we might have a child of our own. Today is more about my beautiful family than it is about food.  Today my blessings overflow. Today I am a little bit hungrey but full of strength. Today is full of Thanksgiving.


Love,
New Me

1013

The proof is in the numbers that Zumba works. Saturday's workout: 1013 calorie burn!

I'll get up early on a Saturday for that!

Good Bye Mr. Fries

My wonderful friend M drove across three counties today to do Zumba with me.   It was awesome to have her there with me sweating it out. We had a great time dancing and burning up the calories.  What is really cool these days for me is to feel my muscles responding like they should because when I first started working out, they would lock up...freeze and cramp.   Now I've got such a better range of motion and stamina, it makes me want to do even more, to push myself just to see what I can do.  My balance is better and so is my agility.   That is the best gift in the world...I feel like a whole new person already.  I know the old me would never get out of bed early on a Saturday morning - and especially to go exercise.  After class we caught up with the instructor and told her about the program we were doing and showed her our Go Wear Fit bands.  After hearing how many calories I burned in her last class, she got a grin on her face and said, "Cool.  Now I'm going to have to beat that."  When will I ever learn what not to say to a trainer?

After Zumba I had to take lunch to my husband who was slaving away in the yard.  He wanted Burger King God bless him.   Now what you must understand is that I love french fries.  And I haven't eaten them in 9 weeks.  And I used to eat them all the time.  And at this point I had just finished an hour of intense cardio and I was hungrey like a wolf.    I pulled through the drive thru and ordered his Whopper with cheese, the fries and was surprised to see that they have apples as an option as well.  So I got a 25 calorie bag of apples.

The 10 minute drive alone in the car with the fries was hard.  The little voice in my head told me that I could have just one fry and be okay.  And they smelled sooo good.  And they were right there on the car seat next next to me.   No one would ever know.   But, a wise person yesterday opened my eyes to the theory of personifying your fears and destructive behavior, that way once you turn them into something with a a face or a character, it takes away their power.   For instance, the french fries.   I pictured Mr. French Fries as a smarmy character in a beret who was tempting me down the wrong path, like a hustler on a street corner trying to sell you a fake Rolex.  Mr. French Fries told me I could give in just this once and it would be okay.  But, once my temptation had a face, it was so obvious what his game was all about, and I was able to resist him.   I sat next to my husband outside on this beautiful day and ate my apples while he woofed down the Burger King, and I felt victorious.

The same wise person also delved into "you are what you eat, literally" with me a couple of weeks ago.   So, do you want to be a crispy, delicous apple, or a mushy, greasy salty fry?   I'd take the apple any day.   Those fries would have given me about two minutes of pleasure in the time it would take to eat them. But, making the decision not to, along with a great workout this morning, has made me happy and healthy all day. That's priceless.

Eye of the Tiger

Sometimes I think we have bad days for the sole purpose of revving our engines.   I had a bad day on Tuesday and was doubting myself again but Tuesday was also one of the best workouts I've had so far.   I got the most fabulous bubble gum pink Everlast gloves and put them to work on the punching bag.  Boxing is my new thing y'all!  Yesterday I burned 889 calories doing 15 minutes of treadmill and 30 minutes of hitting the bag.  I felt STRONG! Energized. Eye of the tiger.   So the thing to do with frustration and defeat and guilt and worry and doubt is to turn it inside out and make it the burn to punch back at whatever it is that lurks that is deep, dark, and destructive.  And another thing, I always believe that with the right accessories, you can do anything.  Thus, the pink gloves.

Hissy Fit

I'll just go ahead and put it out there that I am a type A personality.  I like to win, I like to get the gold star, to be the best, to get the A plus.  So what happens to a person like this when the weight loss comes off steady, but slow?  She has a hissy fit while watching the "Biggest Loser" and the phenomenal numbers those folks put down every week and tells the TV that she hates all of them and Bob and Jillian and Allie too. Thank goodness my husband was asleep and only the jack russells witnessed this temper tantrum.   Not a great moment but this is just frustrating some times.

I got to thinking how weary I am of food...thinking of what to eat, what we're going to have for supper, what would be good to eat before I work out and after, not attending the pizza party my floor at work won because I don't want to eat the pizza and I need to work out, or the work covered dish Thanksgiving meal because one Thanksgiving is going to be calorie-laden enough....I just wish sometimes that I could just drink Crystal Light and that would be all I needed to get by and be done with all of it.

So the more mature part of myself had to ask my inner two year old (who wants everything NOW) what she wanted to do?   Give up?  Sit in the corner and cry? Quit, lay down and wait to die? It's okay to sit in the corner and cry for a minute but then comes the time to get up and get on with things.  That's what winners do I think....it's not that they get the gold star every time, they get up every time. So, I'll try that this time instead.

New Experiences

This past weekend was the annual Beach 2 Battleship Triathalon.  I think the last racing event I attended was field day in the 5th grade so it was a whole new experience to me when I volunteered at the aid station.  I had to learn quickly how to hold the cups so that the runners could quickly snag them as they flew by, I learned what Heed is, and how not to hold the gel packets (I ended up covered in it and an easy target for the bees), I also learned the lengths of the human spirit and endurance as each individual ran past me.   I recommend volunteering for a race event to anyone who wants to get inspired.

Another thing learned: how not to hit like a girl.  I got some gloves - which my husband swears aren't "real" because they're pink, but hey, they're Everlasts and I'm girly - and Jeff taught me how to hit today in the gym.  What an awesome workout boxing is! And great stress relief.

Also great stress relief, another new experience: hitting someone with a pie! Today, as part of a fundraiser for the United Way, I got to hit my friend and coworker Brad with a pie!  Turns out, pies aren't just for eating:

Getting There

Me before starting this program (wearing a sombrero)

Me, now, 9 weeks in:

It's getting there slowly but surely!

Collapse

My momma hates the fact that I listen to Eminem.  I'm not going to argue that he's not offensive at times but he brought me strange inspiration this week.   I was on the treadmill feeling like I was all done for not long into my work out when one of my favorite old Eminem songs came on via the best play list ever (thank you A. Bax), "Collapse": "Sometimes you just feel tired, feel weak And when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up But you gotta search within you, try to find that inner strength and just pull it out of you And get that motivation not to give up, and not be a quitter No matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face, and collapse."  That about sums up how I've felt working out this week.  So Momma, he's not all that bad.  : ) 

Blessings

Last night as I was doing the drudgery that is grocery shopping, I rounded an aisle and there was my friend Cadelia from work.   It was a pleasant surprise to find out she lived out in the country like me.  She and I are doing the same Transformation program and it was nice to walk around the store with her and trade tips on food and "war stories" from the gym.  Our trainers would have been proud to see our grocery carts full of fruits and veggies and that we were "behaving" even when out of their sight.   What's amazing to me and what reinforces itself every day is the principle of when you put good things out in the world, how many blessings come back to you.   I drug around for years feeling horrible and weighed down.   Now, even just this much into my journey I feel unburdened from that - and that's priceless.  Every morning lately when I get ready to head out the door to work, even carrying my gym bag, purse and lunch, I feel like I'm forgetting something.   I literally feel too light, like I've forgotten something, that I'm not carrying enough weight.  Then I finally realized this morning what it was: it's not that I've forgotten my phone or my keys or my tennis shoes, I'm literally not carrying as much weight as I used to on my actual self! What a blessing that is.

That's Dumb Doggie

The hardest thing for me about all of this is the roller coaster. The way I expect things to go is that if I improve something, then it will keep improving, that if my stamina is at a certain level one day, then the next day it's going to be at that level or higher.    That's not the case with working out, at least not for me.   Some days are off days and that's frustrating for me because it causes me to panic to think about 8 weeks ago and the shape I was in when I started this journey.   Mentally I feel like I could run a marathon and it's frustrating when physically I'm not there yet.   

Today was one of those days.  Yesterday, I was burning up the treadmill in my new shoes that feel soooo good.  Today, I get three quarters of the way through my training and bend down to get some weights and the head rush turns into an overall dizziness that didn't go away right away.  Needless to say I had to stop.   Dehydration was the culprit and it was no one's fault but mine for thinking that I can drink three cups of coffee and a diet coke and then go work out without any water in my system.   Duh.  Or as my cousin Devon used to say to me when I used to get up on the weekends and not eat breakfast or lunch, then complain later on in the day that I felt like my blood sugar was low, "That's dumb, doggy." 

Tomorrow I'll be drinking my water before and after I work out.    Thank you Julie for working out with me today - you did great!  Thanks to Jeff and Marisa also who are smarter than I am!  :)

The Fear Factor

I've been in Toastmasters at work for over a year now and for several months I have been procrastinating doing my 10th and final speech in order to earn my first certification. The objective of the 10th speech is to inspire your audience.   I had no clue what to do it on....until recently.    So, I told our president to put me on the schedule and how quickly that date approached yesterday! I soooooo wasn't ready.    I'm not scared to speak in front of people and could have a good time talking to a brick wall, but this was different.  This was a very personal baring of my soul and the journey I'm on.  Yesterday morning I called my good friend Mark, who is also our club President, and told him I wasn't ready yet...but in that calm, motivational, way of his, he talked me into it.  My palms were sweaty, I was fire engine red and went too fast, but I did it.   8 minutes of soul baring.   It was awesome to have Jeff, Marisa and Mindy there to hear me speak, as well as my wonderful friend Julie and the rest of my Toastmaster buddies.   I am so blessed.  I wish there were words to describe how overwhelming it is.  There should be more powerful words than "thank you."   Later in the day Jeff kicked my butt up and down the stairs because he knows that's my fear (see Top Ten Things Never to Say to Your Trainer), but I'm starting to learn that when you conquer a fear whether it be stairs or speaking in public or being honest and saying, "I needed your help, and I'm forever grateful for it," that  accomplishment turns the fear into jubilation.    That being said, I hate snakes, small spaces, and the dark and I don't see myself holding an anaconda in a closet for personal development any time soon.

Keep Calm and Carry On

Yesterday I had an awesome workout and I was riding high on my success.  Today I woke up and was unusually grumpy  (this doesn't usually happen to me and I can't stand being in a bad mood) and the skies were gray with the rain that's been threatening to fall all day.   My knees and feet hurt and I started to panic thinking all sorts of crazy scenarios where I'd be out of commission and off of my purpose (aka: the exact opposite of everything I desire)...I quizzed my friend Brad (who's had knee surgery) relentlessly about the anatomy of the knee until I'd wound myself up almost to  the verge of a certified hissy fit.   Thank goodness I had badgered my friend Julie (who has been my loyal work out buddy on the days I don't work with my trainer) to go to the gym early this morning.  I knew she was counting on me and she knew I was counting on her....and it would have been very easy for either of us to cave and say, "let's not go" and the other would have said "Okay sounds good!".    I'm proud of both of us that we went and did what we could.   So I guess the lesson learned is that some days you're a rock star and some days you feel like a rock, or that you've been hit by a rock, or throwing some rocks (at someone or something.).   One of my favorite sayings comes from a British World War II poster that was created in the event that Germany won the war in order to boost the morale of the people, "Keep Calm and Carry On."  Good words to live by and good advice for me to give myself.    There will be highs and lows in any test of endurance.  Take a deep breathe, put one foot in front of the other, and:

The Training Wheels Come Off

The training wheels are officially off when it comes to my working out program, that is for sure.   I guess I'm past the beginner level and they're starting to kick it up. Sometimes its really scary,  but that's what you have to do to make progress.  I was also thinking that even though I'm only in my seventh week of my new lifestyle,  the old slack me who ate unhealthy and never moved feels like light years away.   I have so far to go, but it doesn't matter because the now feels so good. In the first month that I started working out I had bronchitis, two viruses, a wound under my arm that reopened every time I worked my arms out, and a pulled muscle in my side but I kept going because I knew that if I dared to stop, it would be over.   Now that I'm a little further along, I know that this is my new life now and I like it so there's less of that fear of the old me creeping in.  That being said, as one of my friends pointed out today about her own journey, you have to keep some of that fear alive to keep you on the straight and narrow.  5 more pounds down.   : ) 

Happy Halloween!

Today was our annual fall event for the Long Leaf Arts and Crafts guild at our town's restored train depot and the theme was "The Arts are Brewing."   We had a costume contest, music, dancing, face painting, local art and fortune telling by yours truly.   It was at this endeavor that I found myself alone in my fortune telling tent with a jack o lantern that someone had stocked to the brim with chocolate Halloween candy.  It took all my willpower not to cheat and have some (no one would know) but I can proudly say that I didn't touch it.  Chewing bubble gum helped.   Then came the girl scouts with home made sugar cookies decorated with icing and more candy.   I said no again, and it's hard to say no to cute little fundraising kids! Because, no matter how good that cookie tastes, being healthy feels better.  And I turned my mindset from an event being about food (as all events are centered around, at least here in the South) to the activities, and had a good time!

Me in my fabulous faux fur witch hat

Me with Grandma (Charlie), the Wolf (Devon) and Little Red Riding Hood (Skylar)

Oh the irony!

So on the way to work yesterday I had a scary moment.  A Doritos truck came close to taking me out! Not one of those van type things that the snack machine man drives, but a full on, 18 wheelin' Doritos truck.  Luckily it merged into the correct lane, but for a minute there it looked dicey!  I was like, seriously?   All these years Doritos have been trying to take me out (Cool Ranch ones are like my personal kryptonite) and now I get "clean" and the Doritos truck is after me.  Oh the irony!  

Top Ten Things Never to Say to a Trainer

Since I'm a newbie at this, I had to learn the hard way what not to say to your trainer.  A la David Letterman, I now present for your education:

Top Ten Things Not To Say To Your Trainer
10.  Please don't kill me today. (This was the verbal equivalent of throwing the gauntlet down in front of the zumba instructor)
9. I'm sleepy. (Nothing like 60 squats to wake you up)
8. It's chilly in the gym today. (Sprint back and forth and touch the walls, that will raise your temperature)
7. Zumba burned 865 calories Saturday. (Direct quote from Jeff, "I'm coming for you Zumba!")
6. That was pretty easy. (Duh.)
5. I feel the burn! (They get this maniacal gleam in their eyes followed by, "Goooood.")
4. I'm scared of stairs. (Guess what you'll be doing next work out?)
3. I hate the treadmill/elliptical/stairmaster/insert your favorite torture device. (See comment above).
2. This is getting easier. (Oh but it will be getting harder my friend, trust me)
And #1: No, I'm not sore today.  (Again you're just asking for it.).

All kidding aside, I am very blessed to be working with two incredible trainers, Jeff and Marisa.   They are scary smart about what is best for each of their clients and highly intuitive as to what you need.  They are motivating, supportive, tough when they need to be and fun to be around. Thanks y'all!

Results

Wow!  I'm starting to see some results and people are starting to notice!   It is such an overwhelming feeling of joy.    It really makes it all worth it.   Every lunge, every squat, every pulled muscle, every drop of sweat, every time my knee hurt, every time I looked longingly at a french fry and had an apple instead, every Saturday morning I could have slept in, every step recorded, every lunch at my desk so that I can use my hour to exercise, every slug of water from my water bottle, every dessert refused, every dollar spent on healthier food,  every every every thing I have done (or not done as the case may be) to work towards my goal is worth it.  It's little mile stones like this that make up my motivation.  I have also been blessed by wonderful family, friends and coworkers who have encouraged me along the way.  You keep me moving.   Thank you.


I saw this today on yourdailymotivation.com, "There is no success at bargain basement prices.  You'll find that the highway to success is a toll road.."

Zumba Part Dos

My sister, cousin and I sweated it out in Zumba again this morning! The hardest part is to get up early on a Saturday morning.  Everything after that is a piece of cake.  I've found that even if I'm dreading a workout, if I just put one foot in front of the other and get to the gym, I'm happy to be there and ready to work out.  I don't have all the moves down and I probably look half crazy, but in the words of the immortal Lady GaGa, "just dance...it'll be okay."  And the best part: 895 calories burned!!!!

The Pain and The Crane

This past month 

Has been pretty sweet

I've lost 5 inches

By moving my feet

From Zumba to barbells

I've felt the pain

Why just today

I did the Crane 

I switched to Kashi

And ditched the rice

Because it's a white carb

And they aren't nice

I can't believe

How good I feel

Inches are gone 

Which makes it real

I'm getting better 

With every rep

As a journey of a thousand miles

Has begun with one first step.

Sorry y'all, losing inches has made me so giddy I'm rhyming!!!!  And for those of you who don't remember the Crane, go rent "Karate Kid".  : )

Zumba Y'all

I took my first Zumba class on Saturday with my cousin and two of my favorite friends and WOW what a workout!  Walked into the gym and told the teacher not to kill me.  She kind of chuckled under her breathe and said, "We'll see...."   Feelings of doom descended as I staked out my place on the floor near my friends and I figured that at least the hospital was only two blocks over just in case I fell out.  

But then the music started and we were dancing and believe it or not, it was FUN!  I didn't get all the moves right by no means but I did do better than the old lady in front of me who had two knee braces and would periodically clutch at her hip like it was going to pop out, so that's something.   The main goal I set for myself was to keep moving and make it through the hour and what a reward!  831 calories burned:

Above is the read out from my Go Wear Fit band.  Not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning!   

Scary

It's that time of year again, Halloween....when ghosts and goblins, vampires, black cats and sinister bats are the decoration of the day and we all enjoy a good scare.  Personally I love Halloween, bring on the costumes and scary movies.    Jason, Freddie, Michael Meyers, even the freaky little kid from the Grudge:  not scary.  But my friends, let me tell you the two words that will strike fear into the heart and chills down your spine: lactic burn.  I arrived in the gym today to hear those two dreaded words as the goal of the workout.  Yikes!!!!!!!!  But, I pushed harder than I have before today.  I'm kind of feeling like a spider that someone squashed right now, but when I looked at the calories I burned via my Go Wear Fit band (568) it was worth it! 

Don't Quit!

I didn't lose any this week like I did last week and it's frustrating because I know how hard I worked and because I'm a classic type A personality who hates not to be successful every time.  Then I remembered this poem that I'd seen once about not quitting.  It helped me and I'm posting it here case it can help anyone who is trying to achieve a goal through a battle of endurance:


Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Author unknown

My Own Worst Enemy

Are you your own worst enemy?  I must admit that that definitely described me in the very recent past.  Every time I would get going on a good kick of working out and eating right, inevitably I would get sick or injured and never get back on the horse again.  Call it the devil, call it Murphy's law, or my own personal jinx, it happened every time.   For over a week now I have been fighting a nasty virus  and not only do I sound like Darth Vadar, I am still not 100% back to feeling good.   And, as I sat at my desk today as my workout time drew near, I just about had myself talked out of going down to the gym.   

But, I am happy to say that I sucked it up and worked out and now I feel so much better than I did before both physically and mentally in the fact that today I have cleared a major personal obstacle and have not let myself defeat myself!   So here it is, my pledge to me: if I don't feel good, I'm still going down there and doing something; if I break my leg, I'll work my arms out; if I break an arm, I'll do legs; if aliens take over the world, I'll do jumping jacks in my cage.... I'm not going to be stopped! 

To Taze or Not to Taze

Yesterday was my first full day of wearing my new Go Wear Fit band (on the Biggest Loser they use the Body Bug) and it was cool to pull up my stats this morning and see how many calories I burned, how many I ate, how many steps I took, how long I slept at night, where the calories that I eat are coming from, etc.   I suggest them to everyone who wants to lose weight!!!  

It's such an amazing little device....I almost wonder if there is a GPS in it to tell Jeff, my trainer, when I get too close to a Pizza Hut or the Ben and Jerry's section of the grocery store.  Then perhaps it works like a dog shock collar and I'll get a nice tazering to change my direction!  No, I seriously don't think that.  But it does make me think: would the calories burned by the involuntary muscle spasms of a good tazering be enough to eat some Cookie Dough or a slice of Pepperoni Lovers?  

Folks Who Inspire Me Part One

I've decided to have a running series of posts of the people I know who've inspired me with the success of their own healthy journey! First up: my inspiring friend Vera!  Here's Vera before:

She started her weight loss journey July 25, 2009 by just watching calories.  She didn't add exercise until October 13, 2009, when she started a run/walk program.  Not long after, she ran her first 5K in March 2010, and today, October 7, she has lost a total of 60.4 pounds!! She now runs 6-7 days per week at least 3 miles, and usually one long run of 5 miles on the weekend. She's just recently added Body Pump class three days per week, zumba and yoga one day a week.  Her goal is to to lose 19.4 more pounds for a total of 80 pounds. She's also lost a total of  27 total body inches. 

Vera runs her own program and tracks her calories on www.caloriecount.com. This working Mom of two also says, "I plan my menu out every week, shop for the week, and cook 4-5 nights a week as opposed to going out a lot. This saves money and helps me control the calories of foods I eat." 

Here's Vera Today:

Vera is a great example of how to adapt a healthy lifestyle into the busiest of situations!  Her current goal is to run another half marathon and I have no doubt that she will!   

Thanks V for letting me share your success!

 

The Goal

While we obviously can't turn back time and be 19 again, my goal is to get back to the weight and size I was at that age.  I'm never going to be a stick figure, but I am perfectly alright with that.  I just want to be the best me I can be! 

My cousin Devon and I, age 19, during the NCSU days

Let's call this a before...

On a recent Myrtle Beach trip with my cousins Devon and Charlie and my awesome hubby Eric.

The Journey Begins

So they say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  I took that step around three weeks ago with a group of eleven other people at work who are determined to make a 12 month transformation to being healthier.  Our blood was drawn, our weight taken and measurements measured....we were armed for our battle with a state of the art 10,000 square foot gym, a Go Wear Fit band to give us all our vital stats, our own personal "Bob and Jillian" (only much nicer) and the most unbelievable support system.  

This is a journey that has been coming and one I've started and turned back on a thousand times before.   I can't tell you what makes this time around different other than the desire in my heart. That first workout kicked my fanny, but felt so good to me that I never want to stop.   It was like an instant happy pill and when I started eating like I should, it was almost like a purification of mind, body and spirit.   

I know that this is an endurance trial rather than speedy race and my journey will more than likely last longer than 12 months, but that's okay.  From that first workout, things have been getting better and better with each small milestone.

Thank you to all my wonderful family, friends and co workers who have been so supportive!  Your support means more than you know and has helped me lose 16.5 in 3 weeks!   Can't wait to see what happens next!