Sidelined

Ugh. A spring head cold has had me sidelined for the past two days. I despise being sick and the fact that I missed step class and group training just stinks. I would rather be in the gym sweating it out rather than on the couch napping and watching movies - what a trip! Well, I will rest up, get better, and be ready to get back at it that much harder. The upside: I can't taste anything so maybe I'll save a few calories!

Not Today!

We took measurements today and since beginning my journey I have lost 4 inches from my waist, 3 inches from each arm, and 2 inches from each leg! That's 14 inches gone, not to mention the other areas that we didn't measure! If that's not motivation, I don't know what is! It definitely spurred me on in my workout as Jeff had Lakshmi and I running in and out of orange cones, doing sprints, teaching me the proper way to run (I still think I look like a goober), doing planks, and other exercises. A creative trainer who always comes up with something new, an encouraging workout partner like Lakshmi, and the old school hip hop music playing at the gym (hip hop hooray, oh,ay,oh)equals the best part of my day! I love stepping up my game and seeing what new thing I'm capable of. Before I would never have been able to run - but not today! Before I had to modify my planks because I had a hard time getting on and off of the floor and was never able to hold my weight up - but not today! Before I would have avoided a work lunch outing at the historic Cotton Exchange because of all of the stairs involved - but not today! What "normal" people think nothing of used to terrify me and hold me back - but not today or any day moving forward!

Weekend Milestones

It's been a great weekend! Yesterday I gave my weight loss journey speech at a city wide Toastmasters event. My mom, husband, cousin, great friends and coworkers were there to cheer me on. I marveled at how far I've come since I first gave that speech in October when I was one month into my journey. It was hard to lay my soul bare like that but I feel like it is all part of the process. What is crazy is that before I started this weight loss effort, the LAST thing I wanted to talk about was my weight. I feared any comment that might be even slightly related to that subject...but now I talk about it all the time. I'm no longer embarrassed. I have put my struggles out there into the world and have been amazed at the love and support I've received in return. Today we attended a family reunion and I wasn't worried about the food challenges of all that good Southern cooking. I had a small taste of Aunt Lib's famous chicken and pastry, filled the rest of my plate with veggies, and avoided the dessert table. I wasn't even tempted to cheat. That has to mean something!  Attached is the video of the speech if you're interested.

65!

I hit 65 pounds gone today! What a change from last week. It just goes to show that if the scales aren't moving one week, don't panic. Just tighten up your game and the results will come. Before we weighed in Marisa, aka the Queen of the High Reps, put it on us with a killer workout. Yesterday Milly and I had gotten excited when seeing the new weighted bags that just arrived in the gym. Like the masochists that we are, we told Marisa we were looking forward to using them. Ha ha. We were eating our words once we had to carry the 75 pound one around and around the gym. At one point I almost threw up and cried. But its all good. You have to continue to step it up in order to get results. 6 months ago I could never imagine myself where I am today!

The Victory of a Cat

The great actress Elizabeth Taylor passed away today. Tonight her passing had me thinking about my favorite of her roles, Maggie "The Cat" in Tennessee Williams' "Cat On A Hot Tin Roof". Williams wrote that the victory of a cat on a hot tin roof was simply to stay on it. How true that is and how relevant to a weight loss journey. The elliptical is my hot tin roof, as is step class, eating healthy, and strength training. I have to stay on it when it becomes uncomfortable and I just want to quit and jump off. And - if the roof cools off and becomes too comfortable, I just have to heat it back up again...because being uncomfortable but still holding firm is the path to victory.

Yeah I Do

Tonight I was just finishing checking out at the grocery store when a guy stopped me and said, "Did you drop this?" In his hand was a coupon to Dick's Sporting Goods. "No, but I'll take it if you don't want it." Handing it over he said, "Does your husband need something from there?" I looked at him and said, "No, I need a new pair of heavy bag gloves." He looked confused for a minute and then said, "You box?" Okay now I realize that I am a girly girl. I am OCD about matching my accessories, I have a purse fetish, my Ipod is pink and so is my Blackberry - but I sized him up and thought about how he'd fare on the other side of me, Sylvia, or Laks and answered, "Yep." His eyes blinked and then he drawled, "Well you go girl!" Ha ha - yeah I do.

Marathon

Today Eric and I got up bright and early to go out to the Wrightsville Beach Marathon to cheer on Marisa and Mindy and the other runners. There was a festival feel in the air with music, vendors, and a lot of good vibes. If you've never been to a race, you should definitely go! It's inspiring to see the runners cross the finish line and to hear people cheer for and encourage complete strangers. And let's face it: exercise brings on endorphines and people who work out are just happier pure and simple! I know it elevates my mood! It was a great day with friends, family, gym family and coworkers and it gives me hope that one day soon I will run across a finish line of my own!

Fighting Back

Yesterday was tough for me, but I thought about Scarlett O'Hara before I went to bed and said, "Tomorrow is another day!" Today started with my husband waking me up and hearing me say in my sleep "No more jumping jacks! No more jumping jacks!" Today was a beautiful sunny day in the Port City and the temperature reached 80! Marisa and I hit the river walk at lunch and went further than I've gone before. It was awesome to be outside in the sun and the breeze blowing off of the Cape Fear. Good conversation and the vacation atmosphere of downtown Wilmington had me marveling at how blessed I am to work where we do. It was HOT though and when we got back to the gym we both collapsed onto mats on the floor, even the germaphobe in me was too worn out to care. The day ended with dinner and a movie in with the hubby. We watched "The Fighter" and it got me so pumped that at eleven at night I wanted to throw on my pink Everlasts and start hitting the bag. I love the scene at the end where Christian Bale tells Marky Mark to go out in the ring and take all his anger and every bad thing that has ever happened to him out in the ring. I looked down at my arms and the muscle definition I now have from strength training and taking my anger out on the heavy bag. Fighting back feels good!

Teamwork

Today we weighed in before our group workout and the majority of us didn't get the loss we wanted. It is tough when you don't win every week but if you just keep trying, results will come. This journey is such an emotional roller coaster filled with highs (I ran for the first time in years today) and lows (I didn't lose any weight this week) but tonight I am feeling so grateful to my Transformation Team and all the support I get sweating it out with you all in the gym and by the scale. We do a lot of high five-ing and fist bumping and it is those simple gestures along with the shared sore muscles that has defined my success. I just have to look at one of you as we push through each rep and know that you have my back and that you are fighting the same battle I am. That is the difference this time. That is the key that will unlock the door to what we want to achieve. That's everything.

Persistence and Patience

Lakshmi and I had a great workout with Jeff today. We are taking things to a new level for sure! Remember Laks, its about persistence not perfection. I am learning that sometimes the scale doesn't move like you want it to. Sometimes you are sore and tired and beat up and let down. Sometimes you feel like you could eat the side of a barn. Sometimes you kill it in the gym and other times you wonder where your mojo went. Sometimes you hate the elliptical so badly that you feel you're wading through quicksand and you want to throw your water bottle across the room. What I've learned is to not get too cocky about the highs or too bummed about the lows. As long as you are in the game, as long as you get back up, as long as you put your head down and do the work, success will come. And as for anyone who doubts you, tell them to hide in the bushes and wait!

Spring That Waits To Be

My cousin Holly (that's her in the post below) made a beautiful post on her blog about our loved ones who are no longer with us and how the following hymn inspires her to remember them and have hope about them living on in a better place.    I totally agree Holly!  I also love this hymn:

"Hymn of Promise"

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

I think you can also think of this hymn as hope for improving yourself.  That if you put your time in working on whatever you want to improve during the "winter," then there's a "spring" that waits for you.    It's spring time outside and every thing is beginning to bloom.   It's a great time of year for renewal!

What a difference a year makes!

One of my favorite kids - my cousin Maggie - had her second birthday party this weekend.    A bunch of us loaded up into my Uncle's RV and headed to Sanford, NC for the event.    We had a lot of laughs going down the road and a great time at the party!  The birthday girl was charming in her pink tutu and fairy wings and the decorations and food were top notch thanks to her amazing mother, my cousin Holly.

While at the party, I started thinking about what a healthier person I am this time as opposed to Maggie's first birthday party last March.   At that time I was 6 months away from starting my healthy journey, although I didn't know it yet.  Now, a year later and 6 months into my journey, I'm stronger, healthier and happier.   What a difference a year makes in a baby's life, and in an adult's life if you take the first step towards your goal!

Last year when Maggie turned 1

This year at Maggie's 2nd bday with my wonderful cousin Holly

6 oh!

I hit 60 pounds gone today! Another milestone: along with my partner Mary, I won today's Jeff and Marisa olympics. I've never won any athletic event in my life! Usually I am doing good just to finish, but today I worked out harder than I ever have in my life. It was like my muscles and cardio endurance came together in perfect synergy. At the end I was worn out, sore all over, and felt a little like I could throw up - and it felt incredible! Give me more! Next we made our way over to the scale and it was a victorious weigh in! Milly rocked it, I got to 60 down, and Sylvia lost 9 in one week! As Fabulous says, "Girl you be killin' 'em!". I don't know where the boys were today but the six of us ladies had a blast! When I walked into the locker room, I got emotional and couldn't help but shed a few tears at how happy and grateful I am. Many people in the past have urged me to have weight loss surgery, but I always knew that wasn't my path. Nothing against that route but my path is to ride this roller coaster, to sweat and move, to be stiff and sore, to feel the highs and lows, and claw, scratch and fight my way through this. There's a lot to learn along the way.

Protein = Stamina

Took my tired legs to step class today not expecting much out of myself due to the ripped and burned state of my muscles. Boy was I wrong! After the first initial ouch I found myself limbering up. Then something strange and amazing happened: my stamina and coordination kicked in and I pushed it harder than I have before cardio wise. The feeling was like the first time Algebra made sense as a kid...what an amazing feeling to feel totally worn out but in a good way. I took some good advice about eating animal based protein for breakfast that put me on an even glycemic level all day and it helped me fuel my workout. I'm sold!

Who's The Boss?

I said to my trainers, "Do y'all realize that you are the only people I obey 100 percent? I do whatever you say." Footnote: put this on the list of things not to say to trainers, but it's totally true! Today it was evident as we played a round of Simon - or Jeff - Says during training. Jeff says hold the static squat until he says stop. Jeff says go get on the elliptical. Eat a twinkie - wait. Jeff didn't say that. Tonight my quads are on fire from the combined efforts of Marisa yesterday and Jeff today, but I like it because that means I put in hard work. When I told Marisa that my legs were fried, she laughed and said, "And you thought Tony Danza was the boss!"

You Say You Want A Revolution

I got back on track with a great workout today with Marisa on the river walk, part of which included 80 plus mega squats that left my legs literally shaking like jelly.   I couldn't walk for a few minutes.  You know you've changed your mindset when you seek those situations out and are happy when you're all beat up after a workout.  You crave it.   You get frustrated if you don't have it.    I've been joking to my trainers that I'm starting a revolution, but maybe I am.    One of the definitions of revolution is "a sudden, complete, or marked change in something." Hmm... I'd say we have some of that going on for sure.   Another definition of revolution is "a single turn." Hmm...one single turn towards the gym or away from the Ben and Jerry's and BAM, you have a revolution.  As the Beatles once said, "You say you want a revolution, well you know.  We'd all want to the change the world."  What if we could change the world one healthy person at a time?   Who's on board?  Cause as the Fab Four also said, "it's gonna be, alright."

Are 5 Jellybeans My Undoing?

This is really the hardest thing I've ever done.    I've said it before, but it bears repeating: what a roller coaster!  One day I feel like a rock star riding on a wave of euphoria, the next day I might feel like I'm slipping and that's when the fear hits.   This weekend I ate five jellybeans and obsessed about them for two days.  I ate jellybeans.  I didn't resist them.  I just got a handful and shoved them in my mouth like it was nothing.  That's a sugary carb!  Does this mean I'm slipping?  Is my resolve dissolving? Oh no - why did I do that? Then I ate a handful of Triscuits.  I'm. Out. Of. Control!!!!    Scary but that was my mental refrain for the past two days. Now I think about it and realize that I let five jellybeans bother me all weekend.   Am I ruined by five jellybeans?  No.  Am I going down because of 100 calories? No.  Am I stronger than a handful of triscuits?   Of course I am!   So onward and upward.  I probably burned those 100 calories just worrying about the whole mess anyway.

Strength

Milly and I worked our arms out really hard today and tonight I was noticing how firm my arms are getting. It feels good! Working out with weights and feeling the resistance feels good! As we were pushing through the reps, I started thinking about strength and how feeling physically strong can make you mentally and emotionally strong. Tonight I read the following in a book by Jennifer Armintrout, "Strength isn't about wearing a cross of guilt or shame. Strength comes from choosing your own path, and living with the consequences." I love my new path.

Stop. Hammer Time!

I am so not a morning person thus this morning found me scrambling through my closet for something to wear in a desperate frenzy. It went something like this: Scramble scramble. Look at the clock. Say bad word under breathe. Scramble some more. Throw discarded choices over shoulder. Another look at the clock. Another bad word. Scramble some more. Finally emerge victorious with pair of pants. It wasn't until I got to work and started walking that I realized how big the pants actually were. Several folks were cheering on my weight loss and said, "Just look how loose those pants are!" I hustled to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and confirmed that my formerly snug pants had now turned into MC Hammer pants! Well, at least they were black and not gold with zebra stripes! Won't ever be wearing those suckers again! I put them in the "can't touch this" pile with the rest of my clothes for charity.

Use The Force

I like this quote:

"My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny." - Elaine Maxwell

Inch by Inch

Today's sunshine brought Marisa and I out of the gym and onto the river walk where I once again went a little further than the last time. The sun and the water and fresh air spurred me along my way, plus the great conversation with a dear friend always helps! That's the trick: don't make exercise a drudgery, make it something that uplifts you and makes you feel like a rock star! Start off small and gradually increase it. My great grandmother Brooks used to say, "inch by inch, life's a cinch. Yard by yard, life is hard." A wise woman for sure! Another highlight of the day: I survived a close brush with a vicious looking group of seagulls ("Marisa, that one's looking at me! He's looking at me!")I am terrified of seagulls, but Marisa said, "You're getting over that too!" And she went striding straight towards them. Normally I would cower in fear and refuse to budge but I held my breathe and skirted widely around them - especially that one that kept looking at me with such malice. Also today my awesome friend Lakshmi, who is joy personified, joined our workout group. You go Laks! We're all in this together!