True Grit

My trainer Jeff and I made a bet that if I lost a certain amount of weight by Feb. 3rd, he'd shave his head. If not then I have to do two-a-days for a week. I have been plugging away at it and am 6 pounds shy of it right now. So what do you do when you've been working your hardest towards a goal and you aren't there yet? And you're super busy at work, you feel a little cranky, your head hurts a little because of the major carb withdrawal, you've sweated your hiney off in the gym, and you're disappointed because you feel so much lighter than what that hateful scale says... That's where I am tonight. I was so ill earlier that I felt like saying forget it and head towards Pizza Hut therapy. But that thought was fleeting and soon the inner backbone (inherited from my Mema, a true Steel Magnolia) rose to the surface and reminded me that I'm not out of the game yet. "True grit" lies within all of us...waiting there for times like these if we choose to use it. Winners know that and I'm trying my best to be a winner. So it's chicken and veggies for dinner instead of pan pepperoni lovers. I'll be better for it.

The Pain Vs. The Gain

I did zumba yesterday and it combined with my other weekly workouts had me feeling the burn not long after the class was over. My legs were on a FIRE. I must admit that as the day went on I got a little whiney. My very practical sister in law, who is also trying to get fit, finally said, "Do you want to be sore or do you want to be overweight?" "Sore!" I answered without even having to think about it. I choose the pain over the gain any day...just pass me the icey hot would you?

The Day of 400 Crunches

The day of 400 crunches...sounds like the title to a horror movie right?  We did an ab class right after step class and it was intense.  As I staggered into the closet to put away my mat and ball, I looked at Marisa and said, "that was like 200 crunches right?" She laughed and said, "Um, we did the first 175 on the floor before we even moved to doing them on the ball."  Turns out it was 400 crunches. I was floored because I never knew I could do something like that, but what's weird is that lately I have really begun to feel the strength and endurance of my muscles.   It's hard to describe but it's like everything is doing what it's supposed to do now. I'm even seeing some definition in my arms already.  That really pushes me forward even more.  

This week's episode of "I Used To Be Fat" featured a young man named Jared who was really ready to get his weight off.  He said at the beginning of the show that he felt like the overweight person he was right then wasn't the real him.  That's exactly what I told Jeff the first time we worked out and now I feel like I'm coming back to the person I am supposed to be.   Jared on the show said that he felt like the real him was trapped under a fat coat.   I couldn't say it better myself.   Well, winter will soon be over and it's time to take that coat off!   I can't wait till summertime because this time around I'll be a person who, instead of crunching on Doritos and sitting on the couch, can do 400 crunches after a 45 minute step class!

The Jeff Olympics

Yesterday's training with Jeff rose to Olympic heights.  Well, we'll call it the Jeff Olympics anyway.   Sylvia joined me at my training time and two of the guys in my program, Frank and Roy, were there too.   Jeff had us all in a row doing different exercise stations and competing against each other. In one part of our workout the first person was doing curl presses with the free weights.  The second person was pressing the weighted ball up and over their head.  The third person was doing squat swings with the kettlebell and the fourth person was doing sprints back and forth.  We did as many of these exercises as we could in 30 seconds and then shifted positions and called out our number of reps.  Then we did all of them again in 40 second intervals.   It was a lot of fun!  Roy introduced us to a move he called "The Jailbird" (not sure of the origins of that one) and at one point we all looked like we were starting a step team or a drum line.   When you have buddies to work out with and an innovative trainer with a good sense of humor, exercise can be a lot of fun and a great stress release! So I won the "gold medal" in curl presses and after all that smack talking the boys did at the beginning of the workout, at the end of the hour, Sylvia and I were on our feet and the two of them were slouched in a seat. 

Do What You Like

Over the weekend I saw the movie "The Fighter" with Mark Wahlberg and Christian Bale.   It got me so worked up to exercise that I wished that I had brought my gym bag with me.  I was ready to go put on my music and hit the bag.   Then I got to thinking about how if you like what you're doing, it doesn't seem like such a chore.   I get really bored on the treadmill so therefore I only get on there to warm up - maybe 5 minutes max - before going on to do something else. So, if you hate the elliptical (as every sane person should) don't get on it.    Find something else.  I think a large part of my consistency with my workout program is the fun I'm having.   I like my workouts and keep them varied so I don't get bored.  I also have a good time with my friends and trainers who are down in the gym with me.   It really is the best part of my day.  Never in a million years would I think that I'd be saying that - but there it is.

Jump Jump

Opening scene: Me, sweating bullets, hitting cross punches at the boxing mits Marisa is holding. 

Marisa: Good job.  Get some water while I go get a jump rope.

Me (oblivious, half staggering towards the water fountain): Okay. (a couple gulps of air, a couple gulps of water and stand up suddenly, looking around the gym) Wait, what did she just say?

Marisa: Okay, what you're going to do is give me ten jumps.

Me: Me?

Marisa: Yep.  If it takes the whole rest of the time we're in here, you're going to give me 10 jumps. 

Me: I don't think I can do this. (these feet haven't left the ground in years.  Pause to see if she's serious.  She is.) But I'll give it a try for you. (fear fear fear fear terror. I'm gonna get tangled up and die.  I'm gonna land the wrong way and break my leg. I'm gonna go falling and break my neck and die. They can put up a sign in my memory over the punching bag that says "Jenn - she sure did try." Wait, did my feet just leave the ground?  I just jumped. Wait, I just jumped rope 10 times. Wow!

Marisa: Jeff! Come and see this.  She said she couldn't jump rope.   Give me 10 more to show Jeff.

Dang it.   : )  

 

Moment For Life

I had the best workout of my life today!  Jeff and I did a boxing workout and I finally realized why people love fitness so much.   I used to think that people that worked out for fun were just lunatics.   Why in the world would you want sweat and move your body when you can sit on the couch, eat some Little Debbies, watch "The Biggest Loser" and cry? I was never into sports, I dreaded PE in school, and always parked as close to anything as I could. But now I finally understand what all of my fellow gym rats got into a long time ago: it feels good to move.  Today Jeff had me boxing the heavy bag and it was crazy to see how far my endurance has come.   I don't know exactly how to describe the feeling of punching something as hard and as fast as you can and feel your body actually working with you and not against you. The feeling of letting your mind go and feeling your muscles take over. Of actually being good at a sport and feeling really alive and powerful. Who knew I would be good at boxing?   I love it!  Something in me just likes to fight!  I've always succeeded when it comes to academics or the arts, but to actually feel like I'm getting good at physical activity is something I've been craving my whole life.

Four people I talked to today expressed their desire to find the motivation to get active.   I don't really know how to tell people how to get motivation other than to simply tell yourself that you're just going to give it a shot like I did when I met Jeff for my first workout and see what happens.  The motivation will come.   I wish that I had some sort of ability to actually show people how BAD I felt before and how AWESOME I feel now.  It has been less than 6 months and I have completely changed my whole life. It's staggering.

Nicki Minaj's "Moment For Life" is on my Ipod right now.  I love the message in the lyrics:

"In this very moment I'm king
In this very moment I slayed Goliath with a sling
This very moment I bring
put it on everything, that I will retire with the ring
and I will retire with the crown, Yes
no I'm not lucky I'm blessed, Yes
clap for the heavyweight champ, Me
but I couldn't do it all alone...

I wish that I could have this moment for life
Cause In this moment, i just feel so alive." 

Deep Thoughts From the Ipod

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. ~ Kurt Cobain

Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes that is what awakens us. ~ Steven Tyler

Because you can't, you won't, and you don't stop. ~ The Beastie Boys

Faith, Hope, and Love

I read a wonderful devotional today about faith, hope and love.  It said that you have to have hope first before you can have faith, and that once obtained, faith won't last if you don't have love.  It was so true that it sent chills down my spine!   For so long I stayed in an unhealthy body because I had quite frankly given up hope.  While watching a 638 pound man on a TV show go painfully about his day, the message was obvious that he'd also given up hope.   It's daunting to face such a huge task of losing weight and so therefore I think lots of people - my former self included - give up before they start.  

People can't have hope on demand.  They have to find it for themselves...and the way you do that is latch on to one small thing and let it slingshot you into a new life.   My slingshot was promising the trainers at work that I would show up for that first workout.   I had no hope that I would be successful at this, but I latched on to that small commitment to be down in the gym at 3 o'clock. By 4 o'clock I had my hope back.   I cannot tell you how good that feels.   And now, through having that hope, I have faith in myself that I'm going to be successful at this and that I'm going to be healthy. 

Faith is also made of love.   The more I open myself up to this journey and where it is leading me, the more love comes my way from family, friends and co-workers. It makes me want to take that support and pour it back into other people by helping them.   Faith. Hope. Love.  It's a win/win situation.

Am I My Own Punching Bag?

I had a fear (shocker) that once the new had worn off of this health kick, that I would be a backslider and quit like every other time.   It happens soooooo easily.   Something comes along (lunch with a friend, a bad day, inclement weather, a virus, a Tuesday) and suddenly there wrapped up with a bow is the excuse to slack off.   And then once you've slacked off that one time, once you've eaten that piece of pizza or chicken salad on a pretzel roll,  well the bad behavior boogey starts.  You eat pizza for supper because you've already eaten a hamburger for lunch.   You figure the next morning is Tuesday and you've already ruined the week so why not stop at McDonald's for a biscuit.   And oh jeez, it's now the middle of the day and what's the point of eating healthy, you've already blown that good work out.    Pretty soon you're back to not exercising and prescribing to Vitamins Ben and Jerry and swearing that you're gonna start on Monday.  And then after too long of that, you stop promising to start on Monday.    Then even New Years doesn't seem viable to you and then you give up hope that you can ever do it.   It's a dance I know very well.   I've even invented a few steps.

So I live in fear of slipping back into my old ways.   I woke up this morning in the kind of bad mood that I couldn't shake off.  I was "ill as a snake" as we say around my way.  Doesn't happen that often, and you'd probably never know it to look at me, but ill none the less.    None of my "happy" tricks were working and wouldn't you know it.....instead of something good for lunch, I ate chicken salad on a pretzel roll.  I was so mad at myself after I ate it.   And on weigh in day too!  And did it make me feel better?  No.  I felt worse.   What did make me feel better was training with Marisa and taking it out on the punching bag.  I guess the point is to not make yourself your own punching bag.  Take what is internal and hurting and push it out of yourself in a healthy way.   Worked for me.  I know my husband was grateful I didn't come home in that funk!

A Healthier Start

All the snow is almost gone - yay!   Ironically I ran across a photo taken on our first snow day of last year.   So, for comparison:

On a snow day at the beginning of 2010

The beginning of 2011, off to a healthier start

Arrrgh

My awesome friend Sylvia joined my workout today. It was so much fun to work out with her.  Jeff gave us a challenging routine and it was good to have someone else there to make faces at.  Have you ever looked around the gym at the faces people make?   I know I make some funny ones.  For some reason today it helped to squint my face up, close my eye and make a Pirate-looking face on the press part of the curl/press. Arrrrgh.   Hey whatever works right?

Sylvia, a self-proclaimed grouch in the gym, had fun.   She's looking forward to next time and so am I!   It's all about the buddy system.   And you don't just have to have one buddy.  I'm surrounding myself with like-minded people who lift me up.

Go Sylvia!  You were a rockstar today! You and I are going to get this done together!

Step Class Swagger

Eric, as I did the George Jefferson across the living room, "Are you limping?"

Me, "Shoot, that's just my step class swagger."

Back in the Saddle

Got back in the saddle again today with step class.    I thought I'd be struggling badly because I haven't been on my normal schedule but I didn't do too bad, especially when you consider that Marisa put it on us with a challenging new routine.  We did this one move that she called "feel the beat."  I couldn't help thinking of "Jersey Shore" and how Ronnie said that they "found the beat and then beat up the beat."  I started chuckling to myself (if you can't crack yourself up, who can?) and almost fell over - step class roadkill.   It felt good to get my blood pumping again!   900 calories burned also, not too shabby.  So, I'm walking like George Jefferson, or Godzilla, or Frankenstein, or a cowboy - but I'm back on the horse!   Feels good.

Snowbound and Down

Woo, if I thought Christmas was hard to stay faithful to my wellness plan, being snowbound is worse!   It's so hard not to snack when it's cold outside and we can't get out and about.   I don't do well with cabin fever!  So the name of the game is distraction and finding activities to keep me out of the kitchen.    I can't wait for this snow to go away and to get back on my normal schedule.  It's much more of a challenge to motivate myself to do a workout DVD in my living room than it is to go down to the gym at lunch.    Upside though, I did learn to do the paso double from the "Dancing With the Stars" workout. And the jack russells got a workout doing circles and jumping around me as I exercised.   Where there's a will there's a way  so I'm working on that willpower and praying for a thaw!   

Thank you

My friend Ginger J. sent me this quote:

"Find people who will challenge you, believe in you and inspire you to improve.  No matter what's going on in your life, another person can help you shoot higher, laugh louder and look forward to tomorrow much more than if you go it alone." ~ Vicki Hitzges

How true that is!  I have such a wonderful support system at home and at work and there is no way I could do this without it.   Thank you to all of you! It's what keeps me going when I'm sore, over burdened, and feeling discouraged.  My cup runneth over.

Activating The Wonder Twins

Back when Saturday Morning cartoons were still good there were these two superheros called the Wonder Twins.  They could put their magic rings together and morph into any animal they wanted.    Today when Julie and I first got to the gym we saw the guys hanging out with Jeff so we had to go show them her new pink boxing gloves that look just like mine.  I called us the Pink Glove Mafia.  She said we were the Wonder Twins.  Pounding her invisible ring into mine she said, "Wonder Twins activate: form of a skinny woman!"  I thought I was going to fall down laughing and it got sillier from there.   You gotta have fun in the gym - and believe me there are ways to do that!   And if you go to the same work gym I do, shoot, just watch me.  Odds are that I will trip or something and then you can laugh at me. ; )

Cracker Happy

The other night I was running behind so I picked up some Wendy's chili for our dinner (it's still on my plan).    When we got ready to eat my husband handed me my chili and what was sitting on top?  A pack of crackers.  Recoiling from them like a vampire does to garlic (I might have even hissed) I said, "Eric, come get these crackers away from me right now!" He looked at me strangely but picked them up and said, "Surely you're not that cracker happy?!!!"

The answer to the question is yes, I am that cracker happy. For a former carbaholic to go this extreme in cutting back my former favorite part of the food pyramid, it will make you a little crazy.  That pack of crackers looked like the most delicious thing in the world.  Crazy but true....  Anyone out there who has salivated over a Saltine while on a low carb diet - can I get an Amen?

Like A Bunch of Hyenas

Day Two of Slow Carb is under way.   Nights for me are the worst because back in my bad days, that's when I would reward myself with food: Doritos, Little Debbies, Chex mix, etc.  - at the worst time of day you can consume calories.    I love to watch TV and I used to combine this love with my other love: snacking.  These days I still watch my favorite shows, but I've cut out the snacks.    Last night was hard though.  Even though it's not my habit to snack at night anymore, being on a stricter eating plan made me mentally hungry for anything made out of carbs.    I got through it by drinking a big bottle of water.  Another tip I've found: watch as many inspirational programs as you can to keep your head in the game. I can't wait for this season of "Biggest Loser" and have been enjoying "I Used to be Fat" and looking forward to "Heavy".  

I'm thankful to my cousin Devon and her husband Charlie who started the Slow Carb thing with me yesterday.  It helped to have someone to gripe to who is going through the same thing I am.    Last night when I talked to her before dinner, Devon said, "This better work.  We're over here eating meat like a bunch of hyenas!"

Resolution

I didn't make resolutions this year.    I decided that I have resolved to get this wellness thing done and therefore I don't need to make a New Year's resolution.  They rarely last anyway so why make 'em?  Just calling something a New Year's resolution puts a stigma on something....almost like it's a punishment.  Now some days I feel like I'd rather be beat than go to the gym, but they're rare.  Most of the time it's the part of my day that I look forward to the most.    

All that being said, I did start a stricter eating plan today.   It's called Slow Carb: a way of eating that concentrates on low glycemic foods such as proteins and veggies that your body burns slower than carbs, therefore you get a more substainable increase in energy and blood sugar levels.  You eat that way for 6 days and then on the 7th day you eat whatever you want in order to spike your metabolism and give yourself a treat.  Then the next day you get right back at it.    It's not all that different from what I have been doing, only taking it to that next level....but I must admit that I have been distracted all day with the idea that I'm on a stricter "plan."  I have been thinking, "Well, I can't eat this and I can't eat that..." all day.   I will snap out of it eventually I guess but I tell you what, I would just about kill someone for a Triscuit right about now!