The Fear Factor

I've been in Toastmasters at work for over a year now and for several months I have been procrastinating doing my 10th and final speech in order to earn my first certification. The objective of the 10th speech is to inspire your audience.   I had no clue what to do it on....until recently.    So, I told our president to put me on the schedule and how quickly that date approached yesterday! I soooooo wasn't ready.    I'm not scared to speak in front of people and could have a good time talking to a brick wall, but this was different.  This was a very personal baring of my soul and the journey I'm on.  Yesterday morning I called my good friend Mark, who is also our club President, and told him I wasn't ready yet...but in that calm, motivational, way of his, he talked me into it.  My palms were sweaty, I was fire engine red and went too fast, but I did it.   8 minutes of soul baring.   It was awesome to have Jeff, Marisa and Mindy there to hear me speak, as well as my wonderful friend Julie and the rest of my Toastmaster buddies.   I am so blessed.  I wish there were words to describe how overwhelming it is.  There should be more powerful words than "thank you."   Later in the day Jeff kicked my butt up and down the stairs because he knows that's my fear (see Top Ten Things Never to Say to Your Trainer), but I'm starting to learn that when you conquer a fear whether it be stairs or speaking in public or being honest and saying, "I needed your help, and I'm forever grateful for it," that  accomplishment turns the fear into jubilation.    That being said, I hate snakes, small spaces, and the dark and I don't see myself holding an anaconda in a closet for personal development any time soon.