Fighting the fight was tough for me this week. I 100 calorie-ed myself to death and it resulted in no weight loss after my 8 pound victory last week. The lesson I learned was that I have a tendency to ease up on my grip once I've had a big loss and not watch things as closely as I did the previous week. It was tough to stand on the scale and realize that despite all my hard work in the gym, those little "healthy" snacks here and there (and far too often) had caught up with me.
It turned me into what I despise most: a cry baby. Right there in front of my gym family, the tidal wave of my guilt and disappointment broke over me and I lost it. I was so embarrassed but my team surrounded me with love and support that was overwhelming. I've said it before and will no doubt say it again but the difference for me this time is 100% due to these people: Jeff, Marisa, and my team mates. I have sweated with them, built muscles with them, shared victories and defeats with them, cried with them, laughed with them, and fought along side them. I now understand how soldiers become so bonded with each other. We're not fighting a war with weapons on foreign soil, but rather the war within ourselves and against that part of ourselves that can be equally as dangerous and as deadly as a gun. To have someone beside you who knows what you are going through and who has been with you through the emotional and physical battles of the weight loss war is powerfully bonding. As Millie said, we all came into this program expecting to lose weight and get healthy, but what we didn't expect was the amazing friendships that have grown between all of us and our trainers.
Thursday I got emotional but still made it through our workout. Friday I came back fighting...literally in Marisa's kick boxing class. It felt so good! I'm good at punches and kicks and it felt awesome to channel my frustrations into some intense cardio set to aggressive Pink songs.
On this Memorial Day weekend I want to say thank you to all of our troops past and present who have fought the good fight to keep us safe and our freedom intact. I also want to thank my trainers, my team mates, and everyone who has supported me fighting the good fight towards health and life. To anyone out there who is waging the same war as I am and sometimes having those days where you feel like you just can't go on, keep your head up and know that you can endure. Those bad days will come but in the words of Pink, "So what. I'm still a rock star."
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