The Fever Breaks

Often I see people who are in the same position I was in nine months ago, people who want to change so badly but have given up hope in the face of such a huge challenge.  I totally understand the fear and desperation that keeps them trapped in an unhealthy body because I did if for years.   I wish I had a magical ability to lay my hands on them and let them experience for just a moment how good I feel now.   Those few seconds would be all the motivation they would need.  I'm not superwoman and I have many challenges so believe me: if I can do this, anyone can.

I still have a long ways to go, but even now I have a brand new life!   Sitting in the pool with my cousin Devon this weekend, I told her that one of the best things that has come about is that the inner worry and fear that was living in my old body was gone. It was a thing that occupied my mind almost constantly, whispering to me, "I'm afraid to go (fill in the blank for any number of places) because I might have to park far away and walk and I'll never make it." Or, "I can't sit there because I won't fit." Or, "I can't go there because I might have to stand for a long time." Or, "I can't get out there in my bathing suit in front of every body." 

This weekend was the first time I realized that voice that used to paralyze me and limit my life was gone and the effect was almost like a fever breaking.  You can't imagine how much more at ease I am now, how much more easy going!   It was like getting out of a bad relationship.

Over the long weekend I washed and waxed my car, two hours of physical activity on my feet that I would never have been able to do before. We also went to an outdoor wedding that almost got rained out.  As the storm clouds gathered and the preacher tried to hurry the ceremony along, I was confident in the knowledge that should the skies open up, I could kick off my shoes and run for shelter.    At the after-party after the reception, I played cornhole for an hour and then danced with my husband.   The next day I spent the day at the water park and in the lake, then ran home, got cleaned up and spent two hours walking around Super Wal-mart.   The next day we went out to the race track to see my cousin Charlie race, and walking up and down from where we were set up to the starting line, carrying chairs and coolers, was something I couldn't and wouldn't have done last year - especially in the heat.   I can't lay my hands on people and magically show them how better I feel, but trust me when I say that there's a whole new world waiting out there, and it's awesome!

Go Charlie!

Me and my crazy husband, waiting for the track to cool down and the race to start.

Me and one of my number #1 supporters, Devon