There is so much that being overweight and unhealthy does to take over and enslave your life. You never really realize the full gravity of it until you start bringing yourself out of it. There are many things that I'm discovering as I go along this journey, things that the average person just goes about their daily life doing without thinking about it too much. When you bind your body up with so much weight, it affects absolutely everything you do.
For instance, last summer some good friends of ours were moving and my husband and I went over to help them out. Well, Eric helped them out...I just was moral support because at that point in my life (close to the time the picture of me at the Fourth of July in a prior post) I felt so overburdened that even walking minute distances was unbearable and I couldn't stand for very long. If I tried to pick up anything much, my lower back would feel like it was about to give way. I was already carrying so much weight with my body, how could I add even a pound more to that? So, while Eric and the others spent hours moving things out, I sat on the couch and made boxes. I love helping people and I felt utterly lazy and useless.
Fast forward to almost a year later; I called our friend Pam to tell her we'd be able to pitch in a help her move this afternoon. She said she'd love to have Eric come help and I quickly volunteered myself as well. "Shug, it's going to be some heavy stuff to move. I don't think you'll be able to lift it." I laughed and said, "Woman! You won't believe what I can do these days."
After work a party of about eight of us assembled at Pam's old house to help her move. No one likes the process of moving, but with our friends it was fun! There were plenty of laughs and a lot of smack talking and good natured jabs going on. And, I showed Pam what I could do! It felt so good to be "normal" like everyone else, able to pitch in and help a friend out and not feel so useless. My cousin Devon, one of my most awesome supporters, looked at me and said, "I know you feel good if you've volunteered to help with this move." It was nice that she knew what it meant to me too.
We got Pam loaded, made a caravan of vehicles to her new place, and unloaded everything again. After the last load was carried in, we were all standing around hanging out, passing out water and beer and enjoying being outside on a nice Friday evening. I decided to experiment and see if I could hoist myself up onto the tailgate of my husband's truck. Yep, got up there with ease and crossed my legs Indian style. Again, an action that most people wouldn't think about or even consider a victory, but I don't take any of these changes in myself for granted. I savor each one along the way and carry that good feeling in my heart as armor against the bad temptations. I inhaled the fresh air of a rare summer evening without heat or humidity, looked around at my awesome friends, and just basked in the feeling of normalcy and the good "hurt" of my muscles after today's workout and tonight's move. And it just felt right. :)
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