Get up Jennifer

This is hard folks, I'm here to tell you.   Not every day is sunshine and puppies and rainbows.   I have to tell myself this constantly because I am a Type A personality who automatically thinks things are going to go her way.    This week I've been good with my food and worked so hard that walking up to the scale I anticipated a 10 pound loss.   No sir.  3 pound loss.   And that's good and everything but it took the wind out of my sails.    2 weeks the scale doesn't move and then it only moves down three pounds?  Really? 

So, I had an attitude when we began the workout because I felt defeated by a three pound loss.   Jeff started us out on the floor doing push-up rotations.  I stopped a couple of times and had to audibly say to myself, "Get up. Get up, Jennifer.  Get your *&^ up!"  I made it through the workout, had a slight drama queen moment in the locker room over my disappointment, and now feel better about it.

This is hard....and my heart goes out to anyone who is struggling with any aspect of a weight loss journey.  Whether you have a little or a lot to lose, it's daunting.  But remember, even if you have to talk out loud to yourself, even if people think you're slightly crazy for talking to yourself,  even if you've lost over 100 pounds twice before and gained it back (like I did),  even if it's been months since you've worked out and you've resorted to wearing your "buffet pants" to work every day....get up.   Get back up. 

Come On Ride The Train

I've been trying to get more lean protein in my diet because it is good for you - especially when you're working out as much as I do - and it takes longer for your body to break it down, therefore you stay full longer.  I think I've developed a good combination of my body running more efficiently (better gas, better engine) and me being more in tune with it, because I feel almost the immediate results of my food choices. 

Yesterday I stuck to my lean proteins and veggies and felt amazing. We had a killer step class, but I felt strong and empowered. The soundtrack was old school stuff like Quad City DJ's ("come on ride the train"), Young MC ("just bust a move"), and other tracks from way back, that are just infectious and get you moving.   Immediately after was abs class...10 minutes of non-stop crunches.  Whew! I staggered out of there.  Since I'd basically been going up and down steps for an hour in class, I felt justified in taking the elevator back up.   Just when I thought I was in the clear, out popped Jeff telling me to take the three flights of stairs up.    I was too tired for fight or flight, so I said a bad word and complied. 

The day ended with dinner with my awesome Girls Night Out group.   My good friend Debbie, who I haven't seen in several months, actually did a double take when she saw me.  She's eating right as well, so it was nice to have a buddy who was avoiding the tempting cornbread too. I also found a healthy option on the menu in the steak kabobs and steamed veggies.

Now if I can manage to avoid all of the Easter candy floating around here, I'll be golden.

The Gauntlet

Walking in to the gym yesterday I saw two of the guys on my Transformation team who were just finishing their workout with Jeff.    They were trying to catch their breathe and looked as if someone had upended a water bucket over their heads. 

"What happened to y'all?!" I asked.  Ha ha....apparently the same thing that was about to happen to me. 

George on my team referred to it as the gauntlet and it turned out to be the hardest workout I've had yet.   Sylvia and I ran multiple sprints (I still marvel every time my feet leave the ground), lifted more weight than ever before, slugged it out on the elliptical, and went back to repeat all of it all over again.

The very last thing we did was get on the elliptical and try to hit the speeds Jeff would call out.   And I'll note that he turned the setting to the hardest level, 25.  Here I was drenched with sweat, exhausted, and my legs felt like Jello.   I really didn't think I had anything left in me and Jeff wanted us to hit a speed of 185.  I looked at him like he'd lost his mind, but he was dead serious.  "We're not stopping till you get 185."

I dug down and gave it all I had and couldn't reach it.   170, 174, still not even close to 180.  One big burst of energy and I got it to 184.  Seriously? I wanted to fall in the floor and admit defeat, but I looked over at Sylvia on the elliptical next to me (she'd already hit 185) and she said, "You can do it."   I looked at Jeff.  He agreed.   So I went all out.  I bet I looked crazy, all gritted teeth and arms and legs flying all about, but I did it - 186!!!  I may have looked like I was about to vomit, with crazy hair and a drenched shirt.  I may not have been able to walk a straight line momentarily...but I did it!   I survived the gauntlet.  

Taking It Back

Sunday was a beautiful day in Southeastern North Carolina after the scary and devastating weather Saturday brought with it.   Thank goodness all of my family and friends (especially those in Sanford) made it through unscathed.   Relief for safe passage made the sunny weather all that much more wonderful!   Eric and I headed out to the air show at ILM with a group of friends.   We had a great time and I'm proud to say that I avoided the fattening but oh-so-tempting fair food that called my name as I walked by.

And speaking of walking, I got my workout in for the day!   I bet we walked three or four miles, something I never could have done this time last year. This time last year, I would have had to make excuses to our friends on why we couldn't attend. Sad but true. What "average" or "normal" folks would think nothing of (ie: walking around at an air show) used to enslave me.  This fact really drove home to me that I am taking my life back, one day, one experience at a time! My goodness is it worth it!

The parachute that kicked off the air show. 

What's this....he's sitting down and I'm on my feet? That's a switch!

Down By the River

Today was a beautiful, sunny day in downtown Wilmington!  A bunch of us from work went out to lunch to celebrate a co-worker's promotion.   I ordered a salad with grilled chicken but what really looked good were the burgers and fries!  I have felt hungry more often this week for some reason but I'm trying really hard to keep myself in check.   This afternoon's trick to avoid the snack machine came in the form of sugar-free cough drops.  I have found also that if I can just distract myself for a few minutes, the hunger goes away.    Whether it's cough drops, brushing my teeth, or chewing through a pack of gum....whatever works is what I'm willing to do 'cause bathing suit season is not far off!

Lunch down by the river.

Swaps and Squats

Remember lunch table negotiations back when you were a kid?   You'd look into your lunch box and see what your mom had packed, compare it with your neighbor, and then start the bidding war. I was awesome at it because I've had food issues almost from birth.  Momma says I used to sit in my highchair and hum because I was so happy to be eating.    So naturally I developed excellent bargaining skills early on in the elementary school cafeteria, trading off my healthy food for the Doritos, Ho Ho's, and Cheetos Mom refused to buy.

Today Sylvia and I had to laugh because we caught ourselves swapping snacks.   We struck a bargain in my 90 calorie Special K bar for her 100 calorie Weight Watchers carrot cake treat.  It was nice to have a little treat because we needed every calorie for the workout we found ourselves doing later in the day.  Marisa slaughtered us, brought us back to life and slaughtered us again with a warm up of squats and burpees, followed by some guerilla cardio on the elliptical,  intervals at the rowing machine and with weights, and then a cool down with more squats and burpees.   Shew!  We definitely burned those snacks off.  What a great workout!

Early on in my negotiation career with my cousin Holly

Cat and Mouse

There are two options when leaving my gym on the way to my desk: the elevator or the stairs. The way I feel about these options is that I work hard at my workouts, so I deserve an elevator ride. I'm sure my crippling fear of stairs has nothing to do with this decision at all, no sir. My trainers, however, disagree. Jeff in particular likes to hop out at me when I'm least expecting it and make me take the stairs.

Last week after training, Laks and I were waiting for the elevator. I figured we were in the clear because Jeff had moved on to his next client while we were changing. Oh contraire! Through the closed door I heard Jeff say, "Hey, watch this!"

"Laks! Get the elevator!" I yelled while pushing against the door with all my might to keep Jeff in.

Just as my hold was slipping, the elevator arrived. "Go go!" I yelled to Laks, releasing my hold on the door and hurdling over to the elevator. Alas, I made it on only to have Jeff right on my heels, telling me to take the stairs.

Yesterday I gave in without too much of a fight. Today, after the usual slaughtering, I managed to elude him and take the ride up. It's totally a game of cat and mouse. Only the mouse (me) decided to gloat to the cat (Jeff) about her victory because she couldn't help herself. I'm sure I'll pay for it later.