Seagull Obstacle Course

I am scared of birds, in particular seagulls.  I admit that. I'm not ashamed of it...but in my defense I've been tormented by these brazen, honking, sharp-beaked monsters in the past and am not interested at all in repeating the experience. Being that I live on the coast, one can find oneself in a close encounter with these nasty birds, not only by the water but in any random parking lot that contains a McDonalds.  They seem to have a particular affinity for McDonald's fries, although I can't blame them there.

Monday, when faced with a grueling 45 minutes on the elliptical with the same old Itunes and the same old magazines we've read a hundred times, I looked over at Millie and said, "You want to take a walk?"  She couldn't hop off of that machine fast enough and soon we were booking it out of the gym and down the river walk.

I was distracted by the sunshine, warm climes, and girl talk and almost walked headfirst into a flock of those feathered terrors, currently gathered around a group of fishermen who were taunting them with a pack of Saltines.  The men would alternately flip a cracker in the air towards the birds or tease them by shaking the cracker sleeve at them, stirring the flock into a swooping, honking frenzy.

And there I went, yacking along to Millie about this thing or that, swinging my arms, and keeping a good pace, almost directly walking into this dangerous scene.   Suddenly finding myself surrounded in a flurry of white, winged monsters I screamed and jumped back.  Millie (brave because she's from the Bronx and has seen much worse on the street) looked at me calmly and said, "They're not worried about you!  They have crackers!" (You have to imagine all of this with exaggerated New York hand gesturing) Then she guided me (cowering on the perimeter of the boardwalk) around the whole scene and we continued our walk.

Thinking back on the encounter, some things I observed:

• When I did the strict carb diet, I would have been whipped as easily into a frenzy over an offer of crackers, so I can't blame the birds all that much.
• I've developed some great back-pedaling skills.  Maybe from all of the squats?
• Now I've got the ability to run away, be it from a seagull on a carb-seeking mission or an attacker.  I probably couldn't out run a rabid dog yet, but give me time.
• New workout/fear facing exercise: dodge the ferocious seagull obstacle course.
• It's a dangerous world outside of the gym, keep your wits about you!

Blessings In The Bleak

After our workouts today, my friend Rick and I were walking back from the gym upstairs to our desks.  He's part of the second Transformation group, the program that basically saved my life.  When Rick was chosen for the program, I was overjoyed because he's been such a supporter of mine.  Today I was congratulating him on how great the new group was doing and pointing out the fact that they were already doing exercises that we didn't start doing until a few months in. 

"Yeah, but you guys were the trailblazers," he said.  "You were the reason we wanted to do this." Instantly I was humbled.

I thought back to the many times during the initial phase of this journey that Rick had encouraged me and how many times he told me of his desire to do the same. Now to see how hard he's working in the gym and the newly found pep in his step is an amazing thing.

I also thought about the beginning of my own transformation and reveled in how amazing God is!  How He can take the very thing that you feel is the worst quality you have and turn it into something that can not only benefit yourself, but also be a benefit to other people. He took me from being a person that was finding it increasingly hard to breathe and move at the same time, to being a person who can do a two hour Zumba class; a person whose husband went from being terrified at how I would stop breathing in my sleep on a regular basis to a person whose husband ran with her across the finish line of a 5K in December; a person who had no athletic skill and was always picked last in gym class as a kid to an enthusiastic gym rat who finds daily new and amazing things that her body can do.

I feel awesomely blessed, thankful to God, and assured that no matter how bleak the situation may seem, how hard and long the journey stretches forward ahead of you, with faith and a lot of hard work, miracles are truly and entirely possible. 

"Can't Never Could"

My wonderful Mema has a phrase that she always uses when one of us says we can't do something, "Can't never could."  That simple and true little saying has helped me so many times when I've faced the numerous battles of this journey:

• The very first day on my way to the gym to meet my trainer for the first time, when I could barely walk without losing my breathe and my knee screamed in pain, I thought, "I can't."
• Hovering at the back edges of my first Zumba class, waiting for the music to start I thought, "I can't."
• The first time they ever handed me a jump rope and expected my feet to leave the ground for the first time in years I thought, "I can't."
• Standing behind a 367 pound tire that my trainer expected me to lift up and flip over, I thought "I can't."
• Whenever the scale was not my friend, my first instinct was to say, "I can't."
• As the late night cravings hit and the treats from the kitchen beckoned my resistance said, "I can't."
• When the free weights they handed me went from 8 pounds each to ten to twelve to fifteen and twenty, and they expected me to curl them over my head, my brain screamed, "I can't."
• As the starting fire sounded at the beginning of my first 5K and I saw all the runners strike out ahead of me, I definitely thought, "I can't."

Lucky for me I had Mema's advice that "can't never could" to listen to in the back of my head in each of these instances...that and the shear stubbornness that wasn't going to let anyone (including myself) tell me I couldn't do something, whether that was sticking to my training, resisting the bad food most of the time, flipping a big tire (flipped that sucker 18 times that day), finishing a 5K, or pressing onward when the road got tough.

"Can" and "can't" are powerful words that have the ability to either empower us or hold us back from everything we're capable of already.  Can't never could, but saying "I can," even when you don't believe it, is empowering.

Rowing In The Deep

I'm a Biggest Loser fan and pick up a lot of workout ideas every week from watching it. This week the contestants were sent home for a bit, but in BL fashion, had to compete in a surprise challenge shortly after their arrival.  This episode's challenge: race to 10,000 meters on the rowing machine.  "Hmm," I said to myself, "Wonder if I can do that?"

Now let me preface the following with this: rowing is a lot harder than it looks and it works parts of you that you didn't know you had.  In training we would compete against each other in 250 meter sprints  and the most I've ever rowed to my knowledge is 1,000 meters.  10,000 meters seemed an impossible challenge, but I wanted to give it a shot.  Lucky for me that my gym had two rowers and I had Millie who was willing to try that craziness with me.

And so we started. 

• For the first 1,000 meters I  just concentrated on finding the most effective stride, making sure my arms and legs were working in sync (no small feat for me) and that I was rowing with a sustainable pace.  
• The second 1,000 meters started to wear me down...10,000 seemed a lonnnnng way off.  I tried to distract myself by singing songs about rowing  to Millie.  "We could have had it allllllll, rowing in the deeeeeeeeep." and "They see me row-ing, they hating...wanna catch me rowing dirty..."
• In the third 1,000 meters we decided that we only realistically had time to go to 5,000 and even that seemed so far off.  My abs of all things started burning and my legs wanted to give out. I also managed to master the art of rowing one handed while flipping tracks on my Ipod.
• The fourth 1,000 meters attracted the attention of our trainer Jeff who came over to crank the damper (i.e. the lever that controls the weight of your "boat") from five to ten (the heaviest setting). As if our legs weren't about to fall off already...but that's what trainers are for...to push us.
• The last 1,000 meters were a blur of screaming muscles, pure stubbornness, and encouraging shouts from Jeff and Millie, who'd finished ahead of me but said she'd keep going till I finished.  I can't tell you how many times she's done this simple but wonderful act of unity for me.

When we were finished, I had to sit down for a few minutes because my legs simply wouldn't work.  Then I had to stand up and hold onto the wall beside me to keep from falling over...literally.  After that, I had to creep unsteadily around the gym for a few laps just to get my legs to unlock.  But you know what, I was proud of us. Even though we didn't do the 10,000 meters, we still challenged ourselves.  And hey - 5,000 meters is 3.1 miles. We basically did a 5K on the rower (and in faster time than I do a 5K on foot).   We also found our new Friday challenge.

The thing I've learned lately is the fastest way out of an exercise rut is to stop mindlessly banging away at the same ole same ole and find yourself a challenge. More info on indoor rowing can be found at: http://gubernatrix.co.uk/2008/03/indoor-rowing-training/.

Interesting Experiments In Accomplishment

"Jenn you're crazy."

I've heard this phrase numerous times in my life and don't deny that it's true.  Lately I've been hearing it in response to my workout plans for the day.  And God bless my workout partners for going along with my insanity.  Daily when we meet up in the locker room, they'll look at me and say, "What are we doing today?"  I usually have a mischievous look in my eyes as I pull from my gym bag the paper containing whatever madness I've either created or found, and lay it on them.  To their credit, usually their eyes get wide and they let out their breathe but always say (sometimes with more conviction than others) "Okay, we'll try it."

Today I was a little worried that I'd picked too large of a challenge with the "100 Workout" I found online.  Basically it broke down like this:

• 100 jumping jacks
• 90 crunches
• 80 squats
• 70 leg lifts
• 60 jumping jacks
• 50 crunches
• 40 jumping jacks
• 30 leg lifts
• 20 jumping jacks
• 10 minutes of cardio

If you do the math, that's 540 reps, not counting the cardio at the end.  Quite frankly, I was doubting my own sanity.   But when that change happens to you (the one where you go from an attitude of doing the bare minimum in a workout to get by to the attitude of willingly and actively pushing yourself to see just how far you can go) you find yourself doing stuff that you would at one point thought impossible...and doing it voluntarily at that.   It becomes an interesting experiment in accomplishment.

My legs were shaking and turning to Jello halfway into the first 80 squats but I found a focal point and kept going and I'm happy to say that we completed the entire 100 workout.  And then went on to doing 5 sets of sprints working the treadmill without power.  I don't think I've been that sweaty in my life.  Even my hair tie was saturated.  I may be walking like a cowboy tomorrow, but it was awesome.

"Jenn, you're crazy."

It's true...but I've found a good way to channel my insanity. ;)

Sometimes This Sucks

I like to think that for the most part I stay pretty positive during the many twists and turns of this hard journey. But every now and then one has to have a moment where they step back and say, "this sucks."  I don't do that often, but sometimes it helps to make a list of what sucks in order to expel that frustration and negative emotion. After that you feel much better and can move on in a positive and productive manner. 

• The scale sucks. Not every day, not every time, but there are some times when you're standing on it, knowing you did everything you could to make those numbers go down, and they don't....or worse yet they go up.  That sucks.
• The fact that Doritos taste so much better than celery sucks. Wouldn't life be so much better if we could get some veggies that tasted like Cool Ranch?
• The fact that it takes a 3,500 calorie deficit to burn one measly pound sucks.   The fact that you do the majority of that by the way you eat also sucks.
• Those days where you go down to the gym and have no idea what to do and you feel like you don't do your best, suck. 
• The fact that eating healthy costs so much sucks.
• Deceptive "healthy" foods that are high in calorie (and finding this out after you've eaten them) suck.
• Knowing that this will be a lifetime battle sometimes sucks.

Yes.  Sometimes the struggle sucks and it's okay to say that from time to time. Acknowledging that some days will suck keeps things in perspective and helps keep you on track during the peaks and valleys.  Yesterday I felt like my workout sucked and like I'd never lose another pound.   Today I found my joy back as I emerged from Step and Abs class covered in sweat, calves on fire, but satisfied.  Feeling frustrated doesn't mean your drive is gone or that you're destined to fall off your good path...take it for what it is. Say "this sucks." And then get back to business.   

Sunny Day, Shredded Legs, and Debbie

Not every day on a dieter's journey is great.  Some days you struggle. Some days it seems there aren't enough calories in the world and  you swear you're starving. Some days you're sore and frustrated.   Today, I am happy to say,  was not at all one of those days!

February teased us with spring-like temperatures and caused us to quickly make the decision to take our workout outdoors.  Some quick instant-messages to the girls to come prepared with sunglasses and water bottles and the seven of us were bursting out of the gym, heading for the river walk and relishing the sunshine.

Outside in the fresh air we did a "leg shredder" workout by the Cape Fear River including lunges, squats, jumping jacks, toe touches, and wall sits (or in this case, piling sits) until our legs were shaking.  Repeating that circuit twice, we moved on to sprints and step ups, planks and more jumping jacks.  It seemed like most of the gym crew got the seventy-degree weather memo as we saw quite a lot of them taking advantage of the day and the beautiful setting like we were.

After reluctantly returning inside, I finished out the day and then some members of the original and current Transformation Teams met up with a very special person for dinner.  I had the pleasure partially into my journey of meeting Debbie Daniels, a local who was featured on the A&E show "Heavy."  Months before meeting her I (who at the time was only a few months into my own journey)  had watched her incredible progress on TV and thought to myself, "She's from Wilmington. It would be so cool to meet her and pick her brain."  As fate would have it, I got a chance to do just that and made a great friend and awesome cheerleader in the process.

Tonight the new Transformation Team got a chance to meet Debbie and hear her inspiring story of how she's lost almost 300 pounds.  Debbie always has such a great perspective and every time I hang out with her, I leave with renewed energy.   It was great for all of us to get a chance to hear her story, tell ours, let loose frustrations, and share the ups and downs of the journey so far.

Everyone after a (healthy) dinner and even better conversation.

Debbie and I.  Love ya girl!

Millie and Debbie; two of my faves.

Not every day brings sunshine, but every so often you get rewarded for all of the hard work put in.  Today was one of those days.