I've always wanted to be able to jog along on the treadmill like I see people doing in the gym. I like the rhythm of sneakers slapping the belt and I like the way our synchronized feet sound in step class when the music goes quiet for a few seconds and all you hear is the cadence of our stomps. In fact, I feel like with exercise, if I can get in a good rhythm with whatever I'm doing, whether it's hateful squat reps, doing a step class, or most recently -
jogging on the treadmill - it helps my form and endurance.
I've also learned that besides making you look and feel better, exercise has practical applications. Last night I was in the grocery store (
story of my life) trying to choose between brands of tuna fish, when I heard an altercation towards the front of the store. I looked around me and no one seemed concerned, so I continued my shopping down to the salad dressings. There I was weighing the odds of taste satisfaction versus calorie content, when the shouting began again. I threw the low-cal dressing in my buggy (
if zombies are taking over this grocery store, I won't have to eat it anyway) and scooted towards the back of the store.
At this point I start to panic because the shouting gets louder. I think I can make out the words "gun" and "snitch". Oh snap! I round the corner so sharply that my cart's on three wheels and all the food goes sliding to one side, salad dressing bottle clinking loudly against the jar of olives (
I'm sooo subtle). Okay, panic time....I'm the only one in the back of the store. The shouting abruptly stops and the store is silent. I am at this point convinced that all of the employees and customers are being held at gunpoint up front by the registers and the assailants (
in my mind there was a full-on masked crew taking over Food Lion) are searching the store for any stragglers.
I head towards the back corner of the store, stealing glances down each aisle as I creep by. Oh no! I lock eyes with a weird man over a display of dog food. Yikes! Pushing my cart as fast as I can, I hit the eggs and milk section where I know the emergency exit door is. Here's my exit strategy: bolt out the back door as fast as I can (
now that I can RUN!) should anything crazier go down. But there on the door was a sign that said, "Emergency Exit. Push and hold handle. Alarm will sound and door will open in 15 seconds."
15 seconds? Seriously? Anyone who has ever held a plank position can tell you how long 15 seconds really is. The robbers can burst back here and get me in 15 seconds once that alarm goes off. Luckily about that time I see a blue strobe light towards the front of the store. Yay the police are here! I can quit cowering by the imitation butter now.
Turns out there was an altercation in the parking lot where someone called someone else a snitch and displayed a gun. The "snitch" then went running into the grocery store shouting for 911. The bad guys were taken away and I was able to purchase my low fat salad dressing and go on home, but hey - at least I knew I could run away should the need arise!