Fear

I have always been a scaredy cat...this is no newsflash to anyone who knows me well.   As a kid, my mom had to string garlic up in my window after I accidentally saw a vampire movie.  Our poor family dog (who hated me by the way) was commissioned every night to sit by the foot of my bed (her mortal enemy) to keep away the boogie man who I was convinced had taken up residency in my closet.  Once my poor mother had to actually drag me into the doctor's office because I knew a shot was coming...and one thing I feared most was pain.

Fast forward to present day and a year ago I found myself to be a full-on germaphobe who always had not only hand sanitizer but a purse-sized can of Lysol spray on her person at all times.  I'm always finding new, wonderful changes that have occurred in this year of my journey, and the fact that I've been released from the fear of germs and the fear of pain (well, everyday, run of the mill pain) is something I'm just now realizing.

First up, the germs.  If you're going to spend any significant amount of time in a gym and a locker room, you quickly have to get over a fear of germs.  They're everywhere from various and assorted sweaty body parts, and while you have to be practical about washing your hands, you can't be spraying Lysol around every 30 seconds.   I knew I was getting over my fear on the day that Marisa and I had taken a long, hot walk outside and literally collapsed onto mats in the gym upon our return.  I didn't care who or what had previously occupied that mat, I was just grateful to lay down in the a.c.  Since then, my hand sanitizer consumption is much less and you know what? I've had a lot less colds and viruses.

Next, the pain.  If you put your body through what I do every day, something is going to hurt.   In fact, if I'm not sore by the end of the week, I feel disappointed.  Sore muscles have become my badge of honor, and if I don't have them I feel I haven't done anything.  Something, whether it's my muscles or the place on my foot that screams every time I run, is always hurting...you just have to push past the pain and conquer it.  Waiting around for perfect conditions is futile.

I'm still a weenie about a lot of things, but becoming stronger in fortitude was something I didn't expect from this venture.