Tapping Out/Tapped Out/TapouT

Tapping out is defined by Wikipedia as "A submission;  a combat sports term for yielding to the opponent, and hence resulting in an immediate defeat."  Feeling defeated already?  Tired? In pain or discomfort?  Simply tap your hand on the floor and the fight comes to an end.  Done, over, finito...you lose.

For those of us who fight the battle of the bulge in the gym every day, there comes a point in your workout, no matter how dedicated you are, that you want to tap out.   Especially when trying something new or more challenging.   You get into the workout, you fumble the new moves, your body screams, your lungs seem to tighten up on you, your muscles lock down, time seems to crawl, sweat pours down, maybe your back hurts, maybe your feet hurt, maybe you're exhausted and you look at the clock and realize you're not even halfway through, maybe you're just not feeling it. Maybe everyone around you is moving with ease and you feel like a stiff, bumbling idiot who everyone is looking at and finding lacking.   No matter what stage of your journey you are on, from time to time we are faced with challenges that can embarrass us, take us to our limits, and which bring out the inner two year old who just wants to stomp their feet and yell, "I hate this." That two year old wants to take their toys and go home.  That two year old wants to take the easy route. That two year old wants to tap out.

This inner toddler is one of the very important reasons why I don't workout alone.  Left to my own devices, there are many times when I would "tap out" early or simply not try something challenging to begin with.   I can't tell you how many times, before I became dedicated to this journey, that I started a workout DVD at home and did it halfway.  I can't tell you how many times I shut the TV off early and chose the couch over finishing my workout.  

This is where a group of friends comes in handy.  Be it one person or six, there's always someone who needs some motivation and someone who pulls the others through when they would otherwise take their toys and go home.   Many times on this journey I've felt exhausted, sore, awkward and close to tapping out and my wonderful group of gym buddies have pulled me through.  Sometimes, like today  as we did the TapouT XT Muay Thai DVD and everyone in turns hollered "I hate this!", I'm get to be the one pulling others through.

Sometimes Mike Karpenko, the TapouT instructor, comes across cheesy and worthy of being knocked out with one of his signature punches, but as we sweated and grunted through today's killer routine, something he said got to me: you have to make yourself uncomfortable in order to get results.  It makes sense; doing the same old, same old will not push us or get us where we want to be.  Improvement and change don't happen in a vacuum.  Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's awkward, sometimes I want to say "screw this, I'm done," but I've found if I just keep moving, modify as necessary, and do whatever I have to to finish, I always feel better. Tapping out leads to "yielding to the opponent [my lazy inner two year old], and hence resulting in an immediate defeat." And immediate defeat never got anyone anywhere.

De-Weanification

It has been a busy summer and I've had a hard time finding time to write.  It seems like I drag home at the end of each day worn out and collapse on the couch after dinner with just enough energy to press the "page forward" button on my Nook with the occasional painful, crampy limp into the kitchen for some water before collapsing in the bed for some quality time with my friend the pillow who I never get to visit for as long as I'd like.  I'm not complaining by no means and my pain and state of exhaustion is most definitely self inflicted, and when you've drank the Kool Aid like myself and my friends in the gym, you wear your pain around like a badge of honor for a job well done.

This concept is only about a year and a half old for me.  Before I began my journey, I was a weanie when it comes to pain.  I mean a life-long weanie.  Do you remember in old cartoons what it looked like when someone was trying to get a cat into a bathtub?  That was my mom trying to get my childhood self into the doctor's exam room in order to get a shot. It wasn't pretty. I'm glad to say I've changed my ways and that daily workouts have helped me push past the panic factor of pain and discomfort and taken my weanie level way way down.

For instance, on Monday we were going at our Stair Hell workout which consists of running some stairs then coming back into the gym to do 25 reps of something and then back to the stairs then back to the reps, so on and so forth until 13 rounds have been completed.  This workout works well for a group because the harder core people go all the way up to the top while the others do as many flights as they can and everyone gets finished about the same time.  As we got to the last round of stairs, my friends declared that we were all (with our Jello legs, drenched shirts, and fatigued everything) going to finish strong by going all the way to the top.  All of us.  Even me.  I groaned and fell to the back of the pack, thinking that I'd be able to go up to my usual level and evade them all. Oh no. This crowd leaves no weanie left behind and as they came down, each one told me that I was going to the top and they were coming with me. As I rounded each landing, legs screaming, lungs burning, there was another of my friends waiting to climb up with me. There was even a little bit of a touchdown dance at the top before we started our descent. I love this group!

After work that evening I headed out to a friend's farm to "play" with my new toy that my husband got for me as an early anniversary present:

My compound bow, in pink cammo

 Shooting a bow is a lot harder than Katniss makes it look out in the woods of District 12.  For instance, you have to have your stance perfect and use the push/pull method to position the bow before you fire, and in the case of my cutesy pink bow, you're working with 44 pounds of pressure that you must keep in just the right form. And what happened the first time I fired the thing?  I made the rookie mistake of having my left forearm too near the strings and received a stinging blow that nearly brought tears to my eyes.  It was a "fail" that I needed to do so that I learned that lesson, but it took all I had not to look like a weanie in front of the boys, to ignore the searing pain and fear of re-injury, and pull that bow back again and again.  It was the archery equivalent of getting back on the horse so to speak.

Bring on Tuesday and a brutal workout courtesy of my trainer Marisa.   Legs that were raw from Stair Hell were put through the wringer with "guerilla cardio" on the elliptical, squat walks across the gym, races on the rowing machine, and other sorts of grimace-inducing fun.

Today's butt-kicking was courtesy of TapouT XT, Cardio XT...forty-five minutes of non-stop, MMA-style cardio. The warm up was brutal...I was happy to have made it through to the end of a great workout, but I was none-the-less soaked in sweat, out of breathe, and feeling like I was going to pass out and/or vomit.

So tonight I sit on my couch like a bug someone stepped on, crunched up into a painful ball...but you know what?  I'm happy.  I feel strong.  This journey has brought with it many unexpected blessings, one of which is definitely the De-Weanification of Jenn Minter.

Bringing the Fun Back to A Workout

I love to workout. That is no mystery.  However, if I had to face 45 minutes alone on the elliptical or treadmill, I think I'd rather be beat with a stick.  I've tried music, my Nook, and any amount of celebrity gossip mags, and I'm bored to death every time.  So, I can see why a lot of people view working out as a chore. But as in anything in life, if you find a way to make it fun, it becomes like recess hour from elementary school...a break from the daily grind to make your workouts fun. Here are a few ways we find to distract ourselves with fun in the gym (and a lot of these you don't even need a gym to accomplish):

• First of all, we gather up a group of us.  Everything is more fun with friends and working out is no different.  And, the farther out you cast your net, the more of a chance that you always have a workout buddy or two or six or greater (as is our case).
• Second trick we use: Workout Poker. You just grab a deck of playing cards and assign a move to each suit (arms, legs, core) then make each of the face cards a cardio move for a certain amount of time.  Then you deal the deck and play through the whole thing.  For example: if you made hearts crunches and you dealt an eight of hearts, then you'd do eight crunches.  And if you made kings high knees, then every time a king is dealt, no matter the suit, you would do high knees for the agreed upon amount of time (we started with 30 seconds and worked our way up to a minute). An example of one of our first pokers is here. 
• Another thing we do to keep things fresh is a workout I created that has come to be known as Stair Hell.   The back stairs of our building are right outside of our gym.  So we run a set of stairs (whether it's one flight, two or three, according to the fitness level) and then come back into the gym to do 25 reps of a different exercise each time, each hitting different area of the body. Then it's back to running the stairs again and back and forth like that for thirteen rounds (which simulates going from the basement to the roof of our building).  We motivate ourselves by wiping tick marks off of  a dry erase board in the gym as each round of stairs is completed.  Also motivational: the different folks coming to and from the gym on the staircase who call encouragements and give high fives as we climb by. 
• Something else we are in the works of cooking up with are some different themed workouts.   We've dreamed up a 70's dance moves with weights workout, set to a disco soundtrack and brainstormed a recess/field day workout a la elementary school.
• When the weather is not scalding, we take our workout outside and use our surroundings as a gym whether it be on the Riverwalk next to the Cape Fear River or the dreaded street down from our work that is known as (using a Bella Lugosi voice) The Hill.
• And, when all else fails we use distraction.  For example, we were doing timed wall sits the other day in the group exercise room and someone started the wave. We laughed as we tried to coordinate our wave around the room and the time spent in that uncomfortable position went by in a no time. Also, in today's workout, one round consisted of timed planks. The timer's job was to come up with a topic and the rest of us would shout out answers.  Today's topic: good food that is bad for us. The responses were fast and numerous: Pizza Hut Pizza, Ben and Jerry's, french fries, donuts, ice cream,  brownies with ice cream, grilled cheese, nacho cheese, fried cheese, anything with cheese...

Like I said, I'd rather just about be beat than to spend my gym time on a machine zoning out. But, if you think outside the box and get a little creative with your friends, gym time is fun again!

Taking Aim

Losing weight and feeling healthier opens you up to all kinds experiences you never would have thought you would have.  It is because you feel better and are able to do more, and because you have the self confidence to try new things you never would have dared before, and also because you develop and adventurous side that craves new experiences after a time of constantly holding back like you did when you were in bad shape. 

I've found myself becoming a person who jumps at every chance to try something new and this weekend I got another chance.  A friend of ours was hosting a pig picking for his bow club out at his hunting camp and, along with the usual Southern fare, were archery activities for everyone from beginner to the serious sportsman.  I was excited, being the Hunger Games geek that I am, to find my inner Katniss and try my hand at shooting a bow and arrow.

Getting set up.

Here's what I learned about archery:

• It takes quite a bit of upper body strength.  Glad I lift weights!
• There are a lot of the same principles involved as strength training at the gym; it employs the push/pull method where you push the bow out ahead of you and pull the string back at the same time.
• Stance and form is as important as it is in the gym; you have to square up your shoulders and your legs while engaging the before-mentioned push/pull method.
• It's a lot harder than what it looks like.
• I'm not Katniss yet, but I managed to hit the target in the circle.
• I'm definitely hooked!  

Surviving The Super Bowl aka "The Toilet Flusher"

My friend Millie's daughter Olivia calls one of the water slides at our local water park the "Toilet Flusher".  I think the proper name for this attraction is the Super Bowl and it rises above the park, a huge, circus-like bowl decked in pink and yellow stripes that you plunge into after climbing up to a height of 35 to 40 feet and then shooting down a slide on your tube.

The "Toilet Flusher"

Saturday Millie and I, along with our families and friends, were enjoying our company's family fun day at the water park, bobbing along in the wave pool without a care.  It was a beautiful day and I was planning on spending the majority of my time in that spot, broken up by a few trips on the lazy river and maybe a round of laser tag or two.

I had planned on leaving the water slides to everyone else since I hadn't been down one since I was a kid and had no plans at all of rectifying that. Just looking up at those heights made my stomach flip over because, despite the water sliding, roller coaster riding dare devil I was as a child, the adult me is quite the chicken when it comes to that stuff.  Shoot, two years ago when I was at my heaviest, I was scared to go up or down stairs. I've gotten over that I'm proud to say, but at the same time, they weren't getting me on a water slide, oh no.

Or so I'd planned.  After a few rounds of riding up and down waves in the pool, our group decided it was time to go ride the Toilet Flusher and that I was coming too, and also that they weren't going to take "no" for an answer.   Caught up by the crowd, I left the pool and grabbed a tube, trying to think of a way out the whole way over to the slide.    Should I slip off and ditch them? No, they're surrounding me and they know I'm a flight risk.  Won't work.  Should I fake a medical emergency?  No.  I want to enjoy the rest of my day here at the water park, not in an ambulance or hospital.  Should I flat out refuse to budge?  Hmm. That doesn't seem likely as my husband and Millie are even more strong-willed and stubborn than I am.  And those two lunatics were insisting that I get over my fears and ride this ride.

Up we climbed slowly in the crowded tower to the top of the ride.  With each step my panic grew.  I kept asking questions to Eric and Millie like, "Do you see some bolts missing on this thing?"  "Is it completely dark in that tube?"  "What would happen if I fall off of my float?"  "Is it possible to get stuck in the tube?"  "Is this tower sturdy?  These boards look sketchy." And on and on.  Oh and I broke my questions up with a chorus of "I don't want to do this."

At one point I looked down at Millie from several steps above her with sheer terror on my face and she said, "You can do this.  Trust me.  Look at you, you wouldn't have even climbed these stairs a year and a half ago and look at you now!" I looked up at my husband and he said, "Sweetheart you can do this. You'll be fine." Finally, with the resolve to be brave, and the glass of wine they bribed me with after the ride was finished (provided I survived), I made my way to the top of the tower.  Refusing to look down, I focused on the mouth of the tube and the carefree way that everyone, but yours truly and a couple of six year olds, was jumping on their floats and riding on down.   Then it was my turn.  I got situated on my float and the lifeguard gave me a push.

Suddenly I was rocketing down the slide faster than I'd prepared myself for, volleying up and down the tube as I descended, clinching onto my float for dear life and just knowing I was going to flip out of it at any minute.  Next I was spat out into the bowl where I was cycloned around and around (screaming "I hate this!" at the top of my lungs) before flying into another hole and down another chute until I was blessedly spat back out into the lazy river.  I'd like to say I felt exhilerated and ready to go again, and I'd like to say that I didn't call my friends and husband the word that means "a person whose parents aren't married", but that wouldn't be the truth now would it?

Well, I survived the Toilet Flusher and even though it didn't turn me back into a water slide junkie, I was proud of myself that I did what I couldn't have and wouldn't have a year and a half ago.   And it was a great day with a lot of calories burned swimming, walking, climbing stairs, running around in laser tag and standing in line for thirty minutes to ride go karts.  At least enough to burn off the soft pretzel I ate because hey, we all deserve a treat now and then.

My Workout Video Shoot or Pitta In Balance

Last night I got the opportunity to "co-star" in a yoga video my friend and "second momma," Pam, was making as part of her yoga certification, along with my sister and future sister-in-law.  It was a really great opportunity to help out a friend while at the same time getting some personalized yoga instruction.  I've taken a few yoga classes but I'm always the one at the back of the crowd (for my first experience click here) and I've never had anyone correct me (much needed) on what I'm doing.

I like to think by now that I know my way pretty well around the gym and have a good knowledge base on what I'm doing. When it comes to yoga though, I am a fish out of water.  I have a hard time getting the breathing correct (Pam says I am used to more athletic, strong breathing) and I have never ever been able to meditate.  My mind is always churning from the time I wake up until my head hits the pillow, and sometimes afterwards.  In fact Pam, who's known me since before I was born, told me that, to use yoga terms, I have a pitta personality.  According to Yahoo, "Pitta in balance is often competitive, assertive, self confident, passionate. They are people who like to be in charge and doing things. Pitta in Balance has the power and energy to transform your life and the lives of others, but must be balanced to do so without 'burning out'".

Hmm. Well here's the high lights of  my pitta brain works through an hour and a half of yoga: 

• Okay, we're starting with our eyes closed and Pam reading us some poetry.  Wait, I know this poem.  It's Pablo Neruda. He's encouraging us to spend some time with our minds, delving down deep.  Hmm. That's a scary possibility for me.  Don't go there, quick think of an episode of Jersey Shore.
• Down into plank.  I've done thousands of planks I think.   Remember the time in the gym we were doing planks and you thought it would  be hilarious if there was a charity drive called Planks for Skanks?  And then you thought it would be even funnier if there was one called Burpees for Herp - stop that thought right there and concentrate on your breathing.  Everyone else is reverent and meditative and you are about to ruin this nice video by laughing and falling on your face.
• Into pigeon pose.  I will not modify this position even though Pam says it's okay to.  I will do this pigeon pose even if I can't get back out of it. Wait, wait...I've got it!  Yay for karate and loosened up hips.
• Now for bridge pose.  Pam says some folks can't do this and it's okay to modify.  I will do this pose if it kills me.  Wait, I'm supposed to be relaxed.  I'm relaxing, I'm relaxing...relaxing down into bridge pose...I will hold this until she says stop.  I will not quit.  Wait! I did it! Yay! Okay, I can relax and meditate now.  Nope, can't do that and hold the pose at the same time.   
• Okay, we're down on our backs, relaxing at the end of a great yoga workout.  Pam says to relax and close our eyes.  The music happily trinkles.  We are supposed to go to our "happy place" and completely relax.  Wait!  What is my happy place?   White Lake with my cousins when we were kids?  The beach, laid out in a tidal pool on a sunny day?  Or is it my own private, unlimited shopping spree at the mall?  Or is it the mineral pool at the Grove Park Spa?  It's definitely a body of water and a sunny day somewhere...What is my happy place and why do I have so much panic trying to call it up on the spot?  I am supposed to be relaxing.  Look at Carolyn over there, she's almost asleep.  
• Okay, clear cool water.  Me floating in it.  Sunny skies.  Good music.  The husband.  Imagine the refreshing coolness all around you...ears under the water hearing only the woosh of the pool filter.  Huh, whatta you know?  I'm relaxed.  I know my body is here but I'm not feeling it.  It actually worked!  She's reading Neruda again and I'm floating.  Ah, so this is what it's like.  Slowly we get each body part moving again and I sit up, completely in a state of blissful relaxation. Maybe this pitta can balance herself after all.

Staircase Challenge

It used to be that when people at work would tell me about doing the stairs, basement to roof, for exercise, I'd look at them like they'd grown three heads.   In my former state, I couldn't have even imagined going up to my desk (at the time located on the fourth floor), much less going all the way from the basement to the roof...that was fourteen and a half floors for crying out loud.  In fact, one day I was home sick from work and heard from a friend that the elevators weren't working.  I sighed in relief because at the time, I had no idea what I would have done had I been in the office that day.  That friends, is a problem...when your physical being has the potential of holding you back from doing something critical, like your job.  Thank goodness I've been delivered from that!

That being said, when Dana challenged Rick and I to join he and his group doing the stairs as part of a workout, I was hesitant.  I figured that I was able, and I've pretty much conquered my much documented (at least on this blog) fear of stairs, but fourteen and a half flights seemed daunting.  But, like any writer, I figured it would give me some material and I also had the itching curiosity to see if I could do it.  And God bless Rick, he said he'd do it too.

Dana, Rick, James and I headed out of the gym and to the first set and a half of stairs... the ones from the gym to the first floor  No problem.  I've done these stairs a bunch in the year and a half I've had of conquering my fear of stairs.   When I first began, my trainer would hold my hand going up and down the first five of them, and now I scaled them easily.  One and a half down right? This should be no problem.

Down the hall we went and over to the back stair case. Okay this stairwell was narrower and might I mention hot.  But no worries, I had my water bottle with me.   Up we went from one to two, and then from two to three, and then from three to four.  Woo hoo!  First hurdle cleared: I was officially past the point of being scared I couldn't get to where my old desk was on the fourth floor.   Jubilation! Elation! I'm Rocky running up the stairs...

Until floor five.  I could hear Dana and James way above Rick and I, and Rick was a good flight ahead of me.  And that was when it felt like the air was beginning to run out.   "Why is it so stifling in here?" I asked Rick.  "Well there's no a/c in here and less air in case of fire" he replied.  Okay...so one more element to this challenge.

Up one more flight of stairs to six.  Ah, just beyond that stairwell door was my lovely desk with it's air condition and cushioned chair.  It was tempting but I kept going.  On to seven.  Okay, the sweat was running down my back and I had to stop a minute for some water. 

Floor eight.  Calves are burning, air is stifling, Dana and James were out of sight but Rick was right ahead of me and for that I kept going.  On up to nine and the realization came that on each floor was an exit door that led to a hallway with an elevator that would end all of this craziness if I chose. I looked longingly at the door but Rick was just ahead of me still going and I was determined.

Floor ten.  I used to sit on floor ten and quite frankly I thought the elevator ride up to it was pretty long. I used to hope and pray that we didn't have a fire drill during the time my desk was there because I didn't want to endure going down ten floors, much less the climb up. Dana and James passed on their way down and I had to give Dana his props at being the harder "trainer" for the day. And up again I went.

On to the eleventh.  I start imagining dying on the stairs outside eleven.  Millie sits on this floor. Would she find my lifeless body at the base of the stairs?  I could almost hear the call over the intercom, "Emergency Response Team to the stairwell.  Repeat, ERT to the stairwell." 

Telling myself I was being dramatic again, I climbed up to twelve, and then finally to thirteen...the roof and the end of the climb.  Rick and I paused for a second to catch our breathe and grin at each other.  Up until this moment, we'd doubted ourselves with each step.  Now we just had to get back down.

The return trip was a heck of a lot easier, and we could even carry on a conversation with each other during the descent.  Soon we were back in the gym and even managed to get on not only the elliptical but the treadmill too to finish our workout.

As we were stretching out and cooling down, I looked at Rick and said, "I can't believe we just did that!  That was awesome!  We need to do that once a week!"

"Okay..." Rick said, "But I'm only doing it once a week."

No argument out of me there buddy.