Alarm clock goes off. Slap the snooze a few times. Discover increased muscle strength as alarm clock sails across the room. Get up to retrieve alarm clock and feel every sore muscle. Walk like Frankenstein for the first few minutes of the day. Shower loosens up muscles and decreases Frankenstein effect, the day is looking up! Get ready and in the process pick out two sets of clothes: work clothes and workout clothes. Pray for a clean pair of socks in the sock drawer. Score! They don't match but they'll work. Shove everything into gym bag, testing the rules of physics, engineering and strength of material and zippers in order to get everything in. Gather up breakfast stuff, pre-workout snack stuff, lunch stuff, after-workout snack stuff and again test physics and the strength of lunch bag. Show off new feats of agility and strength while maneuvering out the door around two jumping jack russell terriers with all of said bags plus a laptop bag and purse.
Drive to work while contemplating the day's workout. Think about what parts hurt and decide to work those that don't. Play a few good songs at high volume and envision self at goal weight. Envision self running down the beach. Envision world peace. Envision self winning the lottery and hiring Bob Harper to train self full-time.
Arrive at work. Perform wonderful sherpa impersonation while hauling in all of the things that are needed for the day. Park at the far edges of the parking lot so as to make self walk farther. Avoid the grilled cheese food truck selling breakfast in the parking lot. Imagine tasty grilled cheese breakfast sandwich and begin to salivate. Imagine face of trainer if caught in the grilled cheese truck line. Make it safely past the breakfast temptation while hauling all the stuff, congratulate self on restraint and morning strength training workout.
Eat low cal, non-grilled cheese breakfast. Work work work. Remember to drink water. Ignore all of the pizza, spaghetti, and other such yummy leftovers being warmed in the microwaves next to my Lean Cuisine. Work work work. Phone rings, workout buddies are ready to meet up in the gym. Dash to the breakroom and grab apple. Snarf it down while rushing to the gym. Slide into the locker room in just enough time to get changed out. Work self out to the point of drenched clothes and Nick Nolte hair. Rush into the locker room and try to repair damage enough so as not to scare people for the rest of the day. Back to desk for more water and post-workout snack.
Pack up sherpa haul at the end of the day and drag it and sore self back to parking lot. Curse self for parking so far away. Drive home while thinking of what to have for dinner that is affordable, low cal, and easy to make. Envision a world where pizza and Doritos are calorie free. Settle on chicken and vegetables. Fall into chair after chores are complete to watch "Biggest Loser". Envision lottery win scenario again with Bob and Dolvett as my full-time trainers. Drag tired muscles to bed and fight sleeping husband for my share of the covers. Apologize to alarm clock and promise to not send it across the room tomorrow. Drop off into dreams and prepare to do it all again.
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